For What it's Worth

Chapter One

I was sent here at age 13. I threw a good fight when I first got here. My parents didn't even look at me. I let a tear fall down my cheek, but I told myself it would be the last time.

But it wasn't.

I cried every night I was there. The voices were telling me I should've tried harder to do it. Everyone else was telling me I shouldn't have done it in the first place. I didn't know which to believe until I was 23.

Someone my age was sent here at the same time. His name was Sam Strange. He was sent here for severe depression and we were put in a room together. It was odd considering boys and girls weren't allowed to be roomed together. It was supposed to only be for a night or two, just until another room opened up, but he was the first person who had gotten me to talk in the month I had been there. Because of this, we were kept together.

Sam and I had another friend, her name was Amy. Her parents never cared about her. She came to the Hole Leading to Nowhere when she was 15, Sam and I were 16. She was skinnier than anyone who had ever come in here.

"It started in 8th grade. I was being bullied because I was, and still am, fat. So, after the New Year, I started eating less and less food. In 9th grade, I was only eating an apple a day. I would skip lunch, usually go to the music room and play guitar. The band teacher was the first to notice. There was a rumor always going around that we were a thing. It wasn't true, but it always bothered him and made him hesitant to be alone in a room with me; after a while, we both got over it and moved on with a healthy friendship. After seeing me suffer for some time, he said something. My parents were forced to send me away and now I'm here. I don't know if they truly wanted to send me here, but they did and now I don't know if they want me back."

I just hugged her. I didn't know what to say; there had been so many teens with eating disorders come in and out for different reasons. Some for attempted suicide, others because they starved themselves to near death. But something about Amy was different, it was like seeing a family member suffering.

Soon, I was put in a room with her and Sam was moved. We were inseparable for about three years. We all seemed to get better, but only one of us were ever considered healthy enough to go home. But, Amy was like a younger sister to both Sam and me.

Almost 5 years later when we were 21, Sam was considered sane and was released, going to live with his sister, Alexis, not far from the facility.

With Sam gone, I was lost. I had the biggest set back I had experienced in years. All I had was Amy and that's what made it so hard to leave her.

"Sam, I can't take this anymore!" I almost yelled. "If I have to stay here another year, doing nothing with my life, I'm going to go fully insane. You've said so yourself, I'm probably healthy enough to leave. I'm taking medicine I don't need, I haven't heard a voice since I got here 10 years ago. You have been home for two years, but I'm still stuck rotting away in here. We can live if we leave here, not go with someone else's schedule and hope maybe by 25, we can be out. Sam, I can't leave you, you're not my best friend or my boyfriend, you're my soulmate. I don't want to see what life is like without you beside me. But I will if I have to."

He was quiet, but I could tell he was thinking about something.

"I'll talk to Alexis. She can help me us figure out logistics and get you out of here," Sam said with a slight smile.

The night we were leaving was one of the hardest nights of my life in that building. The nurses on the night shift weren't the best people to leave mentally ill patients with.

When they put us all in our rooms for the night, I spoke to Amy.

"Amy, you're beautiful. Don't let yourself or anyone else tell you different. When you get out of here, play guitar, start a band, write me a song, and be happy. You have so much potential and you're wasting yourself here. You deserve the world. And don't let any guy bring you down, we both know that not every guy is going to be like Sam. Also, go find your music teacher when you get out. We both know he worries about you and is waiting for your birthday next month. I love you so much and I never want anything to happen. We're not going to be here forever and I don't want you to, I-I, just, don't let yourself get in over your head." I hugged her. And I held her for a few minutes. That was the hundredth, and last, night she fell asleep in my arms.

Sam soon came with the keys to the windows of all rooms. He was a volunteer sometimes and had offered to stay the night. Room 113 was the only vacancy and soon we were in the room. Then out the window. Finally, after so many years, so many tears, so many pills, we were off the property of Florida State Mental Institute.

After 20 minutes of running, we were off the property.

"We did it," I said, smiling like an idiot.

Alexis was waiting for us. She smiled and hugged us at the same time.

"Are you ready?" She asked.

"You have no idea," Sam responded, hugging his sister as a tear runs down her cheek. Her brother means the world to her and she can't believe he's leaving her, but happy he's going to live his life. He's already been transferred to another location of the company he worked for, ready to start new with me.

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"So, you escaped the facility with the help of your friends when?" the person asked.

"June of 2015. It was the 3rd. I'll never forget the rush I felt as we left. No one noticed we were gone. No lights turned on, no one saw us leaving. We were safe. That was a point I want to make, the staff is so oblivious there, they didn't realize until the next morning." I responded.

"So, you made it safely out of there? No issues at all?" the asked, yet another, question.

"No, sir. Sam and I didn't have any issues. We made it to Orlando with no questions at all." I smiled, trying to act sweet.

"I see. Have you had any issues with people realizing who you are?" 

"No, sir."

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I woke up in a normal bed. I was in Orlando at a hotel, not the institute.

"Morning, Emma. Or should I say, Catherine Kidd." Sam laughed.

I was changing my identities along with hair color to make me a little less noticeable. I went from having dark brown, almost black hair, to being blonde, which was odd when I look at myself in the mirror. We went clothes shopping, I got a phone, along with a few other things. I have been put into a doctors database thanks to Alexis being a doctor herself. She only told us it was a friend she knew from med school and he would take care of me.

I had never known what normal felt like. Even before my 'break' as Sam calls it, I didn't know what it was like to be normal. Therefore, this was all new to me.

"The flight number 1017 to Baltimore, Maryland is now boarding."

"This is a new point for us," Sam said. "Let's not screw this up."

i told myself i wouldn't update yet. but i did.