If Harry Died // Harry Styles H.S. (Alternate ending to "Cross My Heart")

Ch. 2: He's Gone. He Died For ME.

HARRY'S POV:

It didn't hit her. It didn't hit Gwen. It would have hit her. It would have hit Lou. He was almost there...in front of me.....why was he moving in front of me....

......got to stay here......stay inside of myself......she needs me........she told me to stay......I have to hold on......I'm holding, Gwen.....I'm holding.....it hurts, though.......it's so painful.....I can't breathe......

......Oh, I'm....still here.....I'm here Gwen.....where's Gwen......where........she told me to stay here....where is she.............

.......can't do this anymore......I can't........it hurts.......God it hurts.......she doesn't know......if she knew, she'd tell me I could.....go......let go.......I have to...........I........

LOUIS'S POV:

Gwen was just now realizing where Harry was shot. I'd realized it the second I caught his head as he fell. I had no hope. Not any. The only thing I could hold on to to make me feel better, was that he DID get to say goodbye to her. She got to say goodbye to him. They knew he would die today, and they said their goodbyes. And in the end, they got an extra bonus minute or two. She got to be with him until the end. She got to be there. And I got to hug him goodbye too. I got to tell him I loved him one more time. We shared one more laugh. He cracked one more joke. But most of all, he had her there next to him as he faded away....

I broke down again, harder now. But the NCA guys were lifting us up. They separated Gwen and I, and more medical people came to check us over.

This was over now.

We weren't captives anymore.

This entire who knows how long ordeal was OVER. We would be free.

But not free from hell.

Just entering a different sort of hell. The hell of grieving for Harry.

And this hell....this one WOULD last forever.

Sure, it would get easier. Everyone says it does.

But it would stay with us forever. It would always be there. In every movement we made, it would be there. Missing Harry. Wanting him here with us.

And I had a HUGE fucking job to do now. I had to make sure Gwen didn't kill herself. I had to make sure she lasted long enough to realize she COULD live without him. She COULD go on with her life.

She COULD wake up each day and get through it...somehow.

I didn't know if I'd be there in her life, or not...I didn't care right now.

I didn't want to be there if she couldn't love me, anyway.

I just wanted to be there as a friend. A friend who loved her. A friend who would care for her and keep her as ok as I possibly could. For her, and for Harry. And for me, because I couldn't bear the thought of her suffering alone.

I looked over at Gwen. She was lying on a stretcher, whimpering Harry's name now. She'd gone mostly quiet. She was giving up. She stared straight at the ceiling, saying things to Harry, sounding like a mad woman, if you didn't know what she meant. But I did. She wasn't mad. In a way, yes...temporarily mental. Mad. Yes.

But not truly gone. Not yet. She was just....hurting. More than I could even imagine.

She was being wiped down. The entire front of her was covered in blood. Some of it hers from scraping across this rough cement floor. Probably most of it Harry's.

They draped a blanket over her, and they took her away.

A few more tears I didn't even know it was possible to have at this point, spilled from my eyes for her. I'd see her soon. I hope they knew to keep watch over her. I'd have to tell someone, she needed constant suicide watch until she was released. Then it would be up to me.