Marcel (Marcel/Harry Styles)

Chapter 19

This chapter has been I think one of my favourite to write, so I hope you like it and leave loads of comments, please!

“Grace, why are you going out with Peter?”

This was not the question I was originally going to ask her. I wanted to know, even though she was going out with Peter, if she would go out with me. Not now, maybe not ever, but I just needed to know how she felt about me. But when I saw the way she looked at me, and how she pulled me close, it made me wonder why the hell she was going out with Peter.

I expected her to me crossed with me, telling me that it was none of my business. Telling me that she liked Peter and how she wanted to do things she’d never do with me. That she could like whom she liked, and not like whom she pleased. But instead she sighed and sat down on the stairs with her head in her hands.

She looked so upset. It took all the power in my body not to sit with her and comfort her. I stayed put. Grace sighed and finally looked up at me.

“Because I- I don’t know”, she answered. “He asked me and he’s a nice enough guy, it’s not like there’s anyone else…” she trailed off.

My head was spinning. How could she say there wasn’t anyone else? Hasn’t she noticed how I look at her? Or perhaps how it feels like when we kiss. It’s electrifying. Her lips on mine feel like every atom, every damn electron, proton and neutron, is set on fire. My entire body receives shivers and goose bumps. Hasn’t she noticed how I light up when she’s near?

“There isn’t anyone else?” I question.

“There isn’t anyone else?” I repeat with a raised voice.

I can tell my sudden raise in tone startles Grace by the way she wraps her arms around her knees. This is the first time I have ever raised my voice in front of her. Normally I talk in a hushed tone, and never speak unless spoken to.

“You think Peter is a nice and decent guy, huh?” I ask while pointing at her. When I don’t receive and answer I take a step closer to her. She nods, but it’s not genuine. She’s only answering me with the answer she thinks I want.

“Well, you’re fucking wrong!” I swear. I never swear and Grace reacts to it.

“Remember the day fell, broke my glasses and walked into a lamppost? That never happened. But you know what did happen? Peter and his friends beat me up. That giant bruise and the cut on my face was all their doing. Peter has bullied me since Primary school. He is the reason I have panic attacks and can’t sleep at night”, I yelled while gesturing to the areas the injuries had been. “You think Peter’s a good guy? God, you are so fucking stupid, Grace!”

She whimpered as I moved closer. Once the comment left my mouth, I regretted it, but it was said and I couldn’t take it back. I don’t think Grace is stupid at all. She might not be book smart, but she is smart in so many other ways. She taught me how to trust, how to kiss, how to dress, how to speak and so much more. Grace could never be stupid on my eyes, but I couldn’t bring myself to tell her that.

 “There isn’t anyone else?” I repeat.

“What about me?” I scream, perhaps a little too loud. She doesn’t answer and I can tell she’s getting quite scared. She moves up a couple of steps. I don’t want her to be scared of me. I realize I need to calm down. I pace around the room for a while, trying to gain control over myself. I sigh as I run my fingers through my curls.

I look at her. She hasn’t moved, not even a millimetre. Her face is sheltered behind her flowing brown hair. I can’t see her face, but I know there are tears plastered over her beautiful features. Oh, how I want to kiss them away, but I can’t bring myself to do so.

“Grace, look at me”, I speak in a hushed voice. She shakes her head, keeping her gaze down.

“Grace, look at me, please”, I beg. Again, she keeps her head down. Her hand flies to her face and I know she is wiping away her tears. It breaks my heart. I didn’t mean to be so hard on her. Now I’d probably loose her.

“It’s just- you can’t enter someone’s life, someone who has nothing, and give them everything. You can’t just make a person who is best alone; want to be with someone. You can’t just come into someone’s life and change a person and make them feel things. You can’t kiss a person and hold their hand, and just leave it like that. Grace, you can’t walk into my life and make me fall for you and then go off with someone else. You, you just can’t to that. You just can’t.”

Dedicated to JazZHateXD. She always leaves such  nice comments, they are always long and really uplifting and I love reading them, ily.

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PEACE ✌ shagniall