Chapter One

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I sat on my twin bed eating a giant bowl of Lucky Charms and glared at the incoming FaceTime I was receiving from my best-friend, Georgia. She's probably calling to brag about the date she just went on with her 17-year-old boyfriend. I hesitantly hit the green, "Answer," button as I saw her face pop up wearing her black-rimmed "hipster" glasses. 

"Ash! I finally got my glasses! Oh my god, they look so good on." She marveled at herself. 

"Wow, haha, those are cute-"

"I KNOW RIGHT," she squealed and let out another happy squeal while scrunching up her hazel eyes that were surrounded by a perfect set of eyelashes. She had some freckles dabbled across her nose- unlike me, who had them smeared all over my face- and almost-bleach-blonde hair that reached a little bit lower than her shoulders. She was 5'8" (though she claimed to be 5'9", even though we're the same height. She also tried to tell me that she was taller after we stood back-to-back and were, in fact, the same height) and didn't have much curve to her. She pays a woman she knows to take pictures of her and then calls herself a "model." She throws that excuse out whenever she can (one time someone hit her nose on accident and she said, "oh my gosh, you literally just almost broke my modeling nose. I'm a model. I need my nose."). 

"But anyway, do you want to hear about my date?" She asked. 

"Sure," I fake-laughed in response, even though all I really wanted to was to be left alone to my cereal and the internet. I scooped up another spoonful of magic into my mouth and held back the moan that was about to escape. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, that was the most action I've gotten in years. 

"OK SO-" she started off, preparing me for the amazingness that was about to flow from her thin, pink lips. "Danny, my boyfriend took me to an amazing party his friend was having, omg his friend is SOOOO rich-" my mind went somewhere else. Somewhere warm. It felt like there were arms wrapped around me and my head was cradled into someone's neck. Just as soon as I went to that place, I left. I don't have anyone like that in my life nor have I ever. I haven't even kissed anyone before. There was just such a great need for love in my life and I can't pinpoint why. Georgia's voice started to slowly come back into my hearing- "and we were totally spooning the whole time. Then he kissed my nose and we kissed some more and-" I stared at my phone screen that I put off to the side so it wouldn't show up on my iPad's camera. Anything is more interesting than this bullshit- "Ashleigh are you listening?" I nodded in response and stared at the iPad's screen into her glasses. "Ugh I'm in love with my glasses. Name brand Ray Bans. Oh, Ash, I really don't want guys to hit on me," Georgia sighed, changing the subject. My dull expression became even duller as I mentally drowned myself in the Atlantic ocean. The next question I asked was probably the worst thing I could've done. 

"Why?" 

"Oh Ashleigh, I just want someone to love me, not have every single guy say, 'Hey baby,'," she used her shitty man-voice, "to me." Her face showed true sincerity and pain. For the fucking record, I've never heard a single guy say that to her, nevertheless even hit on her, and apparently it happens "all of the time." I never responded after that and pretended to yawn. "High school starts in four days!!!" She reminded me, as if I forgot.

"Goodnight, Georgia," I said as I hung up on her. The countless amounts of guys she's kissed this month is the sole reminder that I spent this month eating Lucky Charms and talking to my friend I met on the internet. This is not Catfish, he's real- we FaceTime. His name is Matt. He's 16 and is 5'9", he's pretty much just me in boy form which I thank the lord for. He has gorgeous, deep blue eyes and light brown hair that is similar to the young Bieb's hairstyle. Oh, and those muscles! Asdfghjkl. He has the perfect sized arm muscles that pop out of his muscle shirts. The muscle shirts that showed his lightly sculpted chest through the cut-off sides. Those were some of his favorite kinds of shirts. He was never seen without his favorite dingy, grey hat or his skateboard. He lives in Indiana, I live in Wisconsin. I would've hopped on that dick eons ago if he didn't live over 300 miles away. 

OK, so now onto what I look like. As you read before, I am 5'8". I have long, strawberry blonde hair that goes to below my booby. Along with that I have thick, side-swept bangs that I adore. They cover my right eyebrow. I just dyed the end of my hair pink and ombred it so there's a really dark pink at the ends of my hair. I have a tiny waist and huge hips, which I looooove. Overall, I don't really hate myself. The depression I have roots from how much I hate the world I live in and how much it eats away at me. How cruel people can truly be. Anyway, getting out of my sentimental and deep-thinking side, I have blue eyes that start off with a hazel-green color my my pupil and turn into a grey-blue, and then turn into a dark, almost black, blue right at the edge of my iris. As I said before, I have splotches of things called, "freckles," all across my face but more intense across the bridge of my nose, making the look of a raccoon mask. They also are scattered across the rest of my face. I don't hate them, but they just multiply too much in the Summer for my liking. I've always been a Fall girl anyway. I'm skinny, I guess, but still squishy. I play with fat sometimes like Play-Doh. It's not like I can build anything, I just poke myself a lot and giggle. Oh, and I'm 14 years-old, going into my Freshman year of high school.

Anyways, back to Matt. I kind of have a thing for him, if it's not obvious enough, but I can't do anything about it, so I try to forget about him. It's easy to forget about him when I don't have to look at him every day at school, but he's always in the back of my mind. I have a lot of good girl friends: Georgia (yeah she bugs the shit out of me sometimes, but I honestly love her to death), Sarah, Michelle, Abbey, Kaitlin, etc. You'll meet all of them along the journey that is my life. Might I say, it gets quite interesting. 

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