Loving You

Pretend

You can’t see these tears,

They dry.

I keep calling for you,

But you can’t hear my silent cry.

It hurts to see you so close,

Yet feel you’re so far away.

I wish I could forget who you are,

I wish I couldn’t feel how you make me feel.

The pain almost consumes me alive,

And it takes me every ounce of my strength,

To not burst into tears,

And cry, for you.

I try to hold myself together,

And keep that smile on my face.

But it’s all just a façade,

That will sooner or later break.

It’s so hard to pretend like you don’t affect me,

It’s so hard to act strong and not weak.

And no one can see through my smile,

No one can see past these web of lies.

I wish I meant half as much to you

As you mean to me.

I wish you cared for me,

Like I do for you.

Your pride, your ego, your selfish ways,

Your bullshit, your anger, and everything else.

I could take it all, no matter how it comes.

If I could only hold you in my arms once.

I can’t sit here and wait for you to feel the same way.

I know it may not come, that day.

Even if it does, it might be too late.

But till the day I get over you, this is how it’ll stay.

I’ll sit alone, on my own,

Writing poems from the deep desolate corners of my heart.

I’ll read sad quotes, and hear sad songs,

And try to make the pain go away.

And then, maybe one day,

Your smile, your voice and everything else,

Won’t affect me like it always does.

Maybe time will heal my broken heart.

Because I know you aren’t coming back,

To put the pieces back together.

So I’ll cry when alone, and smile in front of everyone else.

I’ll pretend to be happy, until I don’t have to pretend.