I Wish You Were Human

3.

A/N switching to first person because third person is awkward to write and I don't have that kind of gift.... 😂

Dan POV

My mum walked into my room at 5:17...... Removed my blanket and yelled, "WAKE UP YOU START AT 6 DEAR!"

I rolled over groggily making an 'umph, mhm' in reply. I didn't even recall signing up for anything yet did she sign me up for something without my knowledge? It seems like something she'd do. As though she read my mind she answered the question I had yet to vocalise.

"Deary, you sign up today and then they'll show you around and how to do everything..."

I placed my hand over my eyes, to shield then form the unnaturally bright light coming through the hexagon shaped window and landing awkwardly on my eyes (bees don't actually have hands but for the purpose of this fic they do). Great I have to choose the profession I'm stuck with for the rest of my life.... What if I change my mind; and I'm stuck in a menial day job stirring honey forever?

"Dan dear! All the good jobs will be gone if you don't hurry up, what sort of profession do you want to end up in?"

**********

The purple and yellow hexagons loomed over us, they knew we weren't going to end up with the jobs we wanted,they were taunting us; with their sickly sweet scent and cheery bright colours. Seriously who came up with this colour scheme? Ha. Ha....

"Couple of newbies?" (New- bees ....😂 I'm sorry)

"Yes, ma'am! Our first day! We are ready! We are prepared for anything you can throw at us!" Barry answered in his usual overenthusiastic manner. How was he so excited? We were signing a contract that meant we had to work until our deaths!

"Make your choice."

"You want to go first Dan?"

"No, you go," I answered hesitantly, I wanted to be sure of what I was getting into. The worst thing about being a bee is the fact that we don't even have the opportunity to have a gap week before we sign ourselves away. We can't even travel in our retirement, because were bees and bees don't retire! (Unless for medical reasons of course.....)

"Oh, my. What's available?"

"Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think." I intruded on Barry and my cousin's (wait isn't she his cousin too? Our cousin?) conversation; this is bad I don't even know my own cousins name. He seems so sure. I just want to travel. I read once that humans can have an entire gap YEAR! Bees don't even live for a year! How is that fair and they waste their lives on menial things.

"Any chance of getting the Krelman?"

"I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey's always open. Ooh woukd you look at that, the Krelman opened up again!"

"Why, what happened?"

"A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life!" Our cousin replied. She sounds so bored, doesn't she realise that a bunch of her cousins have just died?

"Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven," Barry droned on (get it droned bee puns.... I'll stop now 😂), " lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler, so many decisions....... Dan What do you think I should do Dan? Dan?"

"Errrrmmmm.... Is go on a gap week an option?" I replied.

"WHAT THE HELL IS A GAP WEEK DAN?"

"When you go traveling for a week prior to starting work."

"Alright, we've got that sunflower patch in quadrant 9," a pollen jock said to his walky talky (walkie talkie? It doesn't look right) as he walked past us.

I'm doing it! I going to leave the hive! I walked behind the pollen jock attempting to imitate his fast movements and master the 'pollen jock walk'. My phone buzzed in my pocket and I sighed audibly why? Don't they realise that the more my phone buzzes the more likely they are to find out that I'm leaving?

********
*cue le texty bit*

BARRY 🐝 : Where are you?

Me: I'm going out.

BARRY 🐝 : Out? Out where? And why did you use punctuation ?!?

ME: Out there leave the hive

BARRY 🐝 : Oh no don't do it dan

ME: I have to before I go to work for the rest of my life

BARRY 🐝 :You're gonna die Dan! You're crazy!

ME: Sorry Baz I'm doing it 😏

***********

"OI, DAVE! THERE'S A KID BEHIND YOU" shit I've been spotted, maybe if I just stand still I'll blend in? Dave turned around so fast I swear his eyes moved slower than his body.

"Who are ya, kid?" Who I now knew to be Dave asked me.

I scoffed awkwardly, "I'm your cousin Dave, don't you remember me? You used to come round on Sundays when you were just a pupa" I chuckled nervously awaiting my imminent death.

"Oh yes of course, Jane's son?" He asked.

"Janet's son," I corrected, "I'm Dan"

"Oh yeah Da-n" he articulated like a toddler, "now Dan, what brings you here?"

"I-i want to leave the hive...." I answered meekly cursing my stammer.

**************

A/N the third chapter he. He. this is terrible ( but not as bad as the last two😂) anyway, I've decided I have a hatred for the third person so ta-da first person! Yayy *cue children cheering* 🎉🎉

Merry seasons (spring, summer, winter, autumn? Idk) Dan Howell bought a jat!!!! #gatorgirl

Stay sweet, my ...... Peas?

Magda

😘😘