The Hollow Shell ✔️

Message for C

The message I wanted to say, but couldn't find the courage to send.

Message for C:

Hey...

I figured since you wouldn't talk to me, I'd start it.

I missed you. And I wish everything was back to normal, way before...I hurt you.

You've gotten taller. You made quite a name for yourself. I'm so happy for you. I wish I can go straight up to you to tell you that myself. But we both know we don't have that kind of privilege anymore. I know where I stand. And I'm not one to overstep boundaries.

I don't have the right to talk to you. Your cousin told me you were badly hurt. You had to nurse a broken heart for months. I'm so...so sorry. I may be the last person you'd ever want to see, but I just want to tell you this before we go back to completely pretending neither of us exist.

I loved you. In my own way, I did. I still care for you now. I care about how you are, and how you've been doing. Please, don't get the wrong impression that I'm trying to reopen old wounds. As much as possible, I don't want that to happen. I just couldn't leave it as it was because we parted like two worlds, slowly drifting apart until they couldn't see each other anymore. But the memories are still there. It's the universe's way of punishing me; to remember every blissful memory, and to feel the ache after.

I found myself missing you even more when I remember those moments. I couldn't stop hoping you'd call, or even just say hi. I couldn't erase you even if I badly wanted to. I couldn't unwind all those carefully woven moments when we're together, but I'd rather they stay. I'd rather you stay.

But like I said, we don't have the privilege to wish of such things.

Thank you. For teaching me I wasn't unlovable. It was a great privilege to have met you, known you, and loved you.