Forever

Chapter Eleven Love or Determination?

Theo's Point of View

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                 Pansy and I aren't engaged, the others are either getting married or are married already so i decided that maybe now was the time to pop the question. I hesitated before I walked into our bedroom after we had played tag outside. I walked in and saw she was crying, tears of joy or not I couldn't tell. "Pansy?" I asked. "Theo, oh thank G*d I need to talk to you." "Why? Pans what's wrong?" "I don't know but what if my friends convinced Ron to come back and I found that I still had feelings for him because I think I do, but I also love you. I don't know what to do, I can't like share my time. What if he comes back and he only comes back for me but then I find that I love you more than him. Or if he comes back for me and I find that I like him more than you, Theo I don't know what to do," Pansy said. "Pans I will respect your decision no matter what," I said forcefully. She fell into my arms, "That's just it, I don't know if I can make a decision or if I'll be happy with my decision." "Pansy, stop that, stop that right now. I'll always love you somehow. I'll always have you somehow, even if I can't have you as my wife as friend that would be more than I could ask for," I said. "This is why you're to good for me," Pansy sobbed, "Ron and I are so alike so I don't know if that's good or bad. I just I'm going to stop talking because if I keep talking I don't know if I can go on with you or anyone for that matter. I'm just going to go to sleep." I nodded at her and wrapped my arms around her as she slept. When I was sure she wouldn't wake up I reached into my pocket and said, "Pansy will you marry me?" Then I replayed her words and tossed the ring across the room. 

            I woke up to weeping, a helpless sound really. I looked up to see Pansy cradling a velvet box in her hand. I rolled over and tried not to cry she was going to leave in a minute she had to or else I would cry. She walked to the bed and I closed my eyes pretending to sleep. I felt her soft lips on mine, and for the first time wondered how many times Ron had felt them, how many times Blaise had, how many times Draco had, how many times anyone had felt them. I didn't respond just let her kiss me, feeling a bit repulsed knowing how many kisses she had given up. I finally opened my eyes to look at her. "Theo," she said in a cracked voice. "Pansy?" "I found the ring, it's beautiful but I can't take it, not until I know how I feel about Ron." "I know Pansy, I know. I'm sorry you found it this way. I was going to propose last night but you were crying and when you told me everything about Ron I gave up on the idea." "Does that mean you gave up on the idea of us? Even for a second?" "When I threw the ring," I confessed, "But I still love you so I don't know, maybe I finally have a small taste of how you feel." Pansy smiled, "I doubt that, but keep telling yourself that." I grinned, I decided than that I didn't care how many times she had kissed any other person, not even Ron. My grin got bigger as I thought about how for all but a few people the kisses meant absoulutely nothing. "What are you so happy about?" the grin didn't leave my face, "For goodness sake your girlfriend just told you she might be in love with another person, that is nothing to smile about." I grinned again and spoke, "That's the thing though isn't it?" "What?" She looked at me like I was crazy, which I probably am. "That's the thing though, isn't it? I have someone to fight for." Now she grinned, "Maybe you weren't my first kiss, but you may just be my last." I smiled as I fought the tears, I'll never give up on you, I thought. "Pansy, let's just go get rid of Blaise and the rest for good." She nodded so we stood and walked downstairs.

             We got downstairs and saw a grim faced Harry arguing with a determined looking Ginny. Pansy and I paused. "How many times do I have to tell you I'm coming with you!" Ginny shouted. "How many times do I have to tell you that if you do the baby could die, you could die, all of us could die and I won't let that happen to you." "I will refuse to live if you die and I'm not with you," Ginny threatened. "You wouldn't even live for our kid?" Harry asked, already knowing the answer. "No," Ginny replied determinedly after a few seconds of internal argument. "Fine then I won't go either." Ginny hadn't foreseen this possibitlity. "Nope. You have to go they won't come otherwise so you go and I go with you. Or you decide that we are both staying home and I drag you with us," Ginny threatened. Hermione seemed to be arguing with Draco as they walked down the stairs. "Hermione please," correction Draco was begging with Hermione as they walked downstairs. "No Draco I'm going, and you can't change my mind, I almost died when you were gone for a few days, time travels differently there so if it seems like an hour to you it could be a year," Hermione was winning this by the looks of it. "That's right, you're definetly coming but we overlooked something major." "You're right. We did but I thought of that last night when we were playing tag. I'll just use a spell that will make time travel the same for us here as it travels there so if we go into the Land of the Dead and come back within four hours only four hours will have passed here. No one will notice, not even us." Draco nodded defeated. We got ready to leave as Ginny won the argument and got ready to go with us. Hermione said the spell and everyone grouped hands as Draco apparated towards the Land of the Dead, taking us with him.