Psych Testing (phan)

March 2

I don't like the nurses but Phil makes them bearable. Josh still complains about love when he sees me but overall I feel like he's changed, like he doesn't loathe me as much.

Something in his murky water eyes tell me that he truly did or still does love Phil, but he accepts that it'll never be and try his best to cherish the friendship they have. I thought that was very mature of him so I gave him a small smile.

Phil eventually got me added on his shift, I don't know how but I'm not overjoyed. He's the only nurse that actually checks. He gives me the small cup of water and the two giant blue pills and stands there to watch me swallow them.

I wanted to cry all over again, the meds make me feel insane and I know I'm not. Whenever Josh came by he gave me smiles and this time a new journal for when I finish this one. It was wrapped in bold colors of mint and brown. I feel like we became closer and almost friends.

I eventually spoke to him about the pills; I felt I could trust him enough and oddly I even cried to him. He comforted me with a soft sigh and nodded his head.

"I'll see if I can take on the shift," he says. "I can't promise but I'll try," he faintly smiles.

And after three days of pill taking Phil was gone and Josh was there, and I never tasted the giant blue pills again.

I'd dump them in the hole, still not looking quite at it.

Later

Phil still brought me flowers for my bedside, beautiful bloomed roses. Thorns detached and yellow petals comforting.

I had a test due tomorrow for the doc, something about someone about something about something. Does that make sense?