Winter Sun •Soldiers Series• [Bucky Barnes/Avengers] *Sequel to Soldiers*

Chapter 10: 2:00 A.M.

Bucky:

It's two in the morning when Lottie has finally given in to sleep. Her still body is bathing in the moonlight that spills from Stark's enormous windows, sharpening her features and highlighting the bruises on her face.

I tried my best recounting what has happened between the two of us ever since I have made my way out of Hydra. A constant frown occupied Lottie's face, but she didn't react vigorously against it, so I doubt any bit of my account has triggered anything in her memory.

Damn.

At least I tried though. My heart still aches at the sight of her, vulnerable and exhausted before me. Reaching out, I brush her hair away from her face. She stirs at my touch, mumbling and angling herself towards me.

Biting down on my lower lip, I hold my breath and try to memorise how she looks like in the moonlight. I know I will have to prepare myself in case she never remembers, in case she has chosen to move on without me. I will have to accept that, won't I? If I truly love her, then I will let her go.

The thought stinks like a stab to my chest. No, a stab to my chest would definitely be better than this.

A couple of footsteps in the hallway announces Steve's arrival. My best friend lingers by the frame, his broad shoulder leans against the wall as he watches us with a weak smile at his lips. I can see that he wants to talk, but I would hate to leave Lottie behind.

After waiting for another moment, I give in. Sighing heavily, I glance towards Lottie, who's in her worn out shirt and jeans. She's going to be cold if she is staying out here.

I reach out before I even knew it. Freezing, I stop myself just in time. Sure, back then it wouldn't have been a big deal if I had to carry Lottie back to her own room. But Lottie doesn't remember me now. Can I still act around her like how I used to?

Before me, Lottie sniffs and mumbles in her dream. Making up my mind, I slip my hands under her as gently as possible. With ease, I straighten up with the girl in my arms. She merely shifts once before leaning into me, her face inches from my neck. Passing around Steve, who is watching me quietly, I step into the dimly lit hallway. Lottie's breaths tackle my skin lightly while I try to walk as softly as possible.

I nudge the door that leads to Lottie's room open. My eyes adapt to the darkness quickly, catching lights from New York City from the windows. Reaching the edge of her bed, I begin to lower Lottie. In my head, I'm desperately trying to memorise the way she has weighed and felt in my arms, just in case that is the last time I get to be close with Lottie. After tonight, after all that I have told her, she can decide whether she wants to stay or go. If she wants to go, I won't blame her. I can only blame myself for not keeping her safe.

Lottie's sleeping body has finally found its home in her bed. Turning on my heels, I head for the ajar door. The light from the corridor spills onto the floor.

"James?"

My heart almost jumps into my mouth. Every inch of my body is burning the moment I hear Lottie saying my name in the dark. Almost spinning around, I turn to try to settle my gaze on the stirring body in bed. "Yes, doll?"

Wordless mumbles are heard. After a moment, Lottie's groggy eyes peer through, blindingly trying to search for me in the dark. "Thanks, James," she yawns and rolls onto her side, so her face is away from me, "for tonight."

I'm already missing looking at her. "Of course, sweetheart," I whisper, stepping out of the room tentatively as if I might step on the broken pieces of my heart. "Anything for you."

Leaving her room, I find Steve in the open kitchen with an opened bottle of water in his hand. I pass him and pull open the fringe's door. My best friend is still silent. "Spill the beans, punk," I growl, my hand hovers above a bottle of water before moving onto a beer.