Hello, Goodbye.

x. why?

Hello, Goodbye; Chapter ten.

Why are you here? In this hospital? You said you hated hospitals so why would you try and do this to yourself? 

I never thought you'd end up in here. You've been here for a week, sleeping. Doing nothing but sleeping. Your sister comes everyday, she only leaves when she has to work so she can pay your hospital fees. Do you see what you did? You made your sister work hard, made me cry; you lost yourself. What has happened? 

I know that I'm blaming you, but what else can I do? I've had enough of blaming myself. Your sister told me it wasn't my fault, and I fought and fought to believe her. The only reason why I'm blaming you now is because she said she knew why you did what you did.

I can't believe I'm sitting here, right next to you, holding your hand. Your wrists full of scars. Not even only your wrists, even your legs. I couldn't look at it, but my eyes stayed on them. I felt so, so hopeless. Like, I wasn't going to get you back, but I know you'll fight. You always fight.

You're a fighter that's what you are. I noticed a mark on your neck; it went all around your neck. That's when I realized what you had done to yourself. But I can't put my finger as to why. It can't be just because of me or Stephie. You are more than that. I know you have your reasons, but what are they? Why so much mystery now?

Why now?

Today is our second year anniversary, and I was going to write you a letter, but I couldn't let go of your hand. I just couldn't. Tomorrow, I have school but I had already planned on missing it. I can't go anywhere until I know you're safe, breathing and alive.

I fell asleep, you know. Right here, where I sat holding your hand. I had a dream. It's so late now, it's no wonder I can't sleep. 

The dream I had were us, both of us, and what us is for us.

I had a dream of everything we've ever been through. It was the best dream I've ever had. It's like I relived everything, every single thing we've ever had between us, and it was simply beautiful. 

I can see you in my future, I really can. I want you there. To grow old with you, to be with you for the rest of my life.

But why?

Why did you leave me?

Why was your heart stopping, waking me up, stopping my dream?

Why?