now, we write

winning

is it bad that every bout,
I have to ask myself, do I want to win?

do I want to see their face,
shatter into sadness?

do I want to feel that horrible feeling,
when I walk myself into the winners prison?

do I want to grab that medal,
off another person throat?

do I want to tease someone,
so close, but too far away from the prize?

do I want to smile and say,"good bout"
knowing that it was only good for me?

winning is only ever good if you want the prize,
and I don't.

instead, I
trip, letting you get miles away

instead, I
parry to low, getting hit in the mask

instead I,
get stuck, staying in a lunge

instead I,
start talking, distracting myself

instead I,
close my eyes, drifting to a land far, far away

instead I,
let you win.