The Jailbird's Wings

The Anniversary

Catherine found herself, on February 16th, 2016, standing at the receptionist desk of New Pigeon's prison. She had already filed a bunch of papers, and was cleared as a visiting friend. Once she had cleared her case with the detective about why she wanted to visit Ryan Lloyd, Catherine was granted clearance.

Now, she was waiting for an open window to talk to Ryan through.

Seconds ticked by. She was sitting down on a metal chair, looking at the clock on the opposite wall. A few other people were there, looking haggard and tired. Catherine assumed she might've looked the same had she not applied makeup to clear her complexion and offer a more jaunty look to herself.

It was another ten minutes before her name was called. 

Catherine stood and followed a man with a badge down a few hallways and through a door. She was led to an orange seat, where a window was and a telephone. A row of similar stalls were full of people talking to the other inmates.

When Catherine sat down, she was told that Ryan had been busy. So, as she waited, she tried to rehearse whatever she had planned on saying. But nothing seemed to flow, and before long, Ryan was being seated in front of her.

He had bags under his eyes, and his dark hair was messy. In an orange jumpsuit and handcuffs, he looked defeated. But as he processed who was in front of him, something lit inside of his eyes.

Ryan grabbed the telephone and gestured for her to do the same. When she did, she heard him release a breathy sigh of relief. "Hey." He started, the voice slightly static-y.

Catherine blinked, "Hey." She replied, and found that no words came to mind. She was reminded of the people who he killed, because no words came to their minds. 

"Has it really been only a week?" Ryan asked, and she understood that he was okay with taking charge of the conversation. She was grateful, seeing as she was having a difficult time coming up with anything.

"Yeah." She answered back with.

Ryan held her gaze, and the telephone drooped from his ear. Before long, he held it up again and spoke once more. "I'm sorry. Today's probably a tough day for you."

Catherine nodded, unable to form words. Her throat was tight, and she found herself moving the telephone to her chest as she blinked back tears. Staring to the ceiling, she counted to ten before looking back to Ryan and letting out a long breath. 

She noticed that he was gesturing to the telephone. Furrowing her eyebrows, she lifted it and realized he wanted to say something. She put it up to her ear and waited.

"It's okay to cry," He murmured.

"You said that to me before," Catherine stated, although highly unsure of herself. Ryan's eyes widened as though surprised. "I was drunk, wasn't I?"

Ryan nodded. "It was in March. You weren't doing so well in school and no one was willing to talk to you about it, not even your girlfriends. That's when I decided to go to your house and talk to you myself." He paused, and then spoke in a softer voice. "How do you remember?"

"I didn't- don't. I found my diary earlier this week." She explained, shrugging. She found that the more she pretended that he never went to Burger King and killed those people, the easier it was talking to him. "It was one of my last entries."

Ryan grinned, placing a hand over his chest. "I, Ryan Lloyd, made it into Catherine McCay's diary?" 

Catherine laughed lightly, surprised that she reacted in such a way. Ryan seemed pleased that he got her to laugh, let alone smile, and the two fell in a comfortable silence. It was then that Ryan spoke.

"My trial will be coming up later this year. My lawyer doesn't think I'll be able to avoid the death sentence." Ryan claimed, his eyes losing that little bit of life that he had when he first saw Catherine.

"You'll be fine." Catherine replied quickly, breathlessly. She had always hated the death sentence, but now, she feared it more than anything. Flashes of the people dropping to the ground next to her made her heart squeeze, and suddenly she realized she was talking to a murderer and telling him it was alright. "You'll be fine," she repeated, although not as firmly.

Ryan seemed to understand what she was thinking. "I was off my medication." He stated, his voice full of regret. "I was aware of what I was doing but I didn't really know why I was doing it."

Catherine felt those words comfort her in a little way, but fear still filled her heart. This man, off of whatever pills he had to take, had killed four people and tried to steal money. "Why did you want the money?" She found herself whispering into the phone. She caught sight of her fingers and realized that they were white from clutching the phone.

Ryan sighed, looking down. "I needed the money to buy more meds." He confessed softly before looking back up. Catherine felt a pang deep in her chest. He didn't say anything after that, and Catherine couldn't form any words herself.

A beeping sound happened and she realized that she was being claimed by man from earlier. "Time's up." He said gruffly, and Catherine nodded. She put the phone back up on the wall and looked back to Ryan once more.

He waved, his eyes defeated once more. Catherine saw a flash of that face with a noose around his neck, and wondered why she would think of something so vile. Then, she turned and followed the officer out of the room.

She didn't want to think about Ryan and the death sentence anymore. In fact, she didn't want to think about Ryan at all anymore.

But, of course, Catherine found herself unable to not think about him. He just reminded her so much of Mike. In a twisted way, of course, but still. The connection was there and Catherine was unable to not think about it.