Rat - YA Fantasy

40

Chapter 40: Wherein Rat Is Cherished

I had not had too many encounters with Varemini after the Argentbane incident. It was a heavy price to pay, yet as part of my ceasefire with the King, I could not trespass into the Queen's garden. Too many eyes were watching me closely, waiting for me to blunder. I had to content myself with watching her from a distance across the bouquet hall on the rare occasions I was dragged to court. At first she'd smile at me and ask me with her eyes why I wouldn't visit her. Later on, when I still wouldn't come, she didn't even look at me.

It hurt her. I hurt her.

I promised myself however that I would, sooner or later, stop caring about the King's aggravation. Court gossip was crisp with rumours of their loveless relationship, no physical contact came between them, and outside of meals and formal occasions, they never met. The King had married her out of selfishness, because her beauty was worthy for a king. And I too needed to see her out of my own personal selfishness.The day came when I finally found the courage to meet her. That was the day when I scored thirteen points in the fight against Alavan. A rare perfect score was enough to make me feel invincible. I was an arrogant boy and part of my success was that I fully believed in myself. It allowed me to dare things that seemed impossible. But my blind belief in myself was also my weakness. I did not understand then how easily my confidence could be broken.

It was the first time visiting Varemini with my magical abilities surfaced. I did not climb down from my balcony; I did not have to make the difficult climb over the wall. I wrapped myself in the blanket of night sky and folded the space around me over and over, making the stars ripple as if the sky was merely the reflection of the sky inside a pond. Then I rolled within the folded space until I passed over the magical barriers of the garden wall undetected. I unraveled all at once and floated down to the ground.

I stood with my face to the pond and my back to the bench. I knew she was behind me, I had seen her while coming down, but I stayed as I was, unable to face her right away. She did not say anything at first and the silence stretched out between us in velvety waves.

Finally, she spoke, "Broader shoulders, eight inches taller and then, for all eyes to see, you are Harlock Cooper. I could mistake you for him if I let my mind make such mistakes. He would always appear before me this way, floating down from the sky in all his brilliance like a fallen star."

I turned to look at her and I could see the shine of tears in her eyes making my heart collapse in on itself. "Varemini," I said, taking a small step toward her. I felt so guilty for the pain of loneliness my absence had caused her. She was a prisoner here, and I should have visited her long before. "I'm so sorry, I wanted to come, but..."

"You couldn't, you mustn't." She shook her head. "I know. I was so scared, that night when they caught you. You suffered because of me, dear Rat."

"Don't be sad. I got through it. It wasn't as bad as you think," I lied. But it was unnecessary to lie, because it was obvious that even if I had managed to cure myself of the Argentbane in hours, the horror had been so great that it had stopped me from visiting her again. I sat on the bench by her side, my hands holding the hard stone edge of the seat.

"You were amazing today," she said quietly. "It made me remember him so strongly I thought I would die."

It felt awkward to be complimented by her while her voice was full of tears. "The real fight is in the next two rounds," I said.

"I wish I could Wield magic," she mused.

"I wish you'd have golden wings like that Sky Monk today," I said.

"I wish I knew what you are," she said. "I wish I could look into your past and find out who your mother was."

"Who's to say I ever had a mother? Maybe I'm not even human."

My attempt to make her laugh proved successful; the heavenly sound filled the dark night with colour. "Oh you, how I've missed you." She ruffled my hair. "Any moment now you'll become a man, find a pretty lady and forget about me."

"I'll never forget about you," I answered so fast and so sharply I surprised even myself, and then I smiled. "In fact, there aren't any ladies prettier than you. Wait for me, won't you? When I grow up and become a man, I plan to steal you from the King."

She laughed so hard that she rolled away from me and lay her back against the bench. "I'm afraid I'm already waiting for someone to steal me from the King, but if he won't show up by the time you become a man, you are welcome to steal me."

"Even if someone steals you before me, I'll steal you from him." I straightened my back and lowered my voice. "I'm going to be the greatest man in the world."

At this she did not laugh, she wept.

***

"Varemini?" I asked in the greying dawn.

"Mmm?"

"Before you married the King," I began, unsure whether I was allowing my curiosity to lead me across a battlefield, "you were Cooper's lover?"

She bowed her head, long waves of auburn hair falling over her face. "That was the reason," she whispered, "the King wished to marry me. There were women with greater prospects than mine, but he wished me to be the queen because Harlock held me dear."

"Why didn't you marry Cooper?"

"We were married," she said.

I gasped at her words.

"And at the point of a knife, forced to divorce," she went on.

The silence between us afterwards was rather awkward in my opinion. I didn't know why this story bothered me so much, but it made me feel sick, as if I had contracted the illness.

"When I heard about Cooper's son coming to the palace," she finally said, "I almost went insane with jealousy. Who was the woman who had given Harlock a son so soon after I had given birth to his child?"

"You have a son?" I asked, astonished.

"It's bad luck to raise the memory of dead children," she snapped at me. It was the first time she used such a harsh tone with me, the first time that I saw something darker inside her beside her golden beauty. There was another silence between us, uncomfortable and unaccommodating, she sighed. "Whoever your mother was, she was so insignificant to leave no trace of her existence on you. When I look at you, all I see it Harlock Cooper."

"What if you're my mother?" I asked wistfully, for the first time, willing to accept Cooper as my father, only to have some link, some bond, something to tie me with Varemini, "What if I'm your son?"

She wrapped her arms around me and placed her head upon my shoulder. "How I'd cherish you then."

A/N - Something short but sweet to start off your week. ^_^ Another piece of Cooper's past and motivations revealed!