fortissimo. | ashton irwin a.u.

0.3

summer before junior year

it's currently 4 a.m., and i'm sitting alone in my bed re-watching every episode of friends. god i love this show.

i hear a knock at the door and pause the tv, "come in!" i yell. it's probably my brother, because mum's never home.

"hey, so where's your boy toy?" my brother, kaleb, says while walking in my room.

i just scoff in return.

"oh, lighten up, shells," he sits down on the edge of my bed, "i know you guys actually do love each other." he teases and reaches over to me to poke my knee.

i raise my eyebrow, "i was actually thinking of asking him to go to cali with me to visit aunt liz, under your permission. you should let us.. because, you know, we love each other."

"no, don't take that bastard to see her, she'll hate him. take liz's son instead, the poor shithead could use some of his momma." kaleb says. we hate luke – well, kaleb hates luke. i love luke. even though he did drop out of our school just so he could join some modern-day KKK or some shit like that.

"i was going to ask luke, but i'm pretty sure he threw his phone into a fire or something." kaleb looks at me weirdly. "i saw it on one of his gang friends' facebook. don't question me."

"shells, just ask him." i hate how he calls me shells, it gives me shivers. mum used to call me shells before our sperm donor decided to hook up with mum's sister, and mum turned all bitchy. that's why aunt liz moved across the world and away from mum and her anger. dad killed himself shortly after, because he, and i quote his suicide letter, couldn't take the drama.

of course i miss my father, but i hate him. he was the one who single-penisely made my 7-year-old days a living hell. and kaleb's.

"i'll text luke." i decide. "also, if he can't go, do you want to?" i ask.

"i mean, sure i guess." he shrugs. there's a few beats of silence until kaleb decides to talk, "so, what are you watching?"

"friends. want to join in?" i invite.

"um, duh." he rolls his eyes and climbs under the covers with me.

i love kaleb. he's stuck with me ever since mum & dad spilt, and we've grown closer over the years. he just graduated, but he's not going to college. he's just working at a record store down town.

california

we get off the plane, finally. and luke keeps looking around for liz.

"i can't see her, shells." luke groans.

"you've been looking for less than a minute, lucas." i giggle.

"why is it that i give you a nickname and you call me by my full name?" we step off of the escalator and luke keeps turning left and right looking for his mum. "damn it, everyone in this family is so short." he mutters.

"well, lucas is better, i think. and we're only short because you're 9-fucking-thousand feet tall." we keep pushing through the crowded airport, which smells distinctly like a doctor's office, and as soon as i look straight ahead, liz is holding a sign.

"why the hell does it say welcome to california michelle and ashton?" luke asks.

"because i was originally going to bring him, but kaleb told me to bring you instead." i say, keeping my eyes on liz and my hands around luke's arm while he makes his way through the mob of people.