P.I.E - A Limey Rivalry

Part 1 - A Mundane Series of Drudgery

It had been nothing but routine operations for the two ghost hunters lately. Well, as "routine" as ghost hunting goes anyway. Granted, there was always success with their latest cases, but no frights or important stakes. They would get a call, travel in Toast's embarrassingly fabulous car – as their normal van had been taken away to get mended after a certain bearded man had taken out his anger at their less than decent job a few months ago – find the ghost and remove it from the premises as fast as a regular pizza delivery would be.

Eventually, the leader of the P.I.E Company – Johnny Ghost – could not take it anymore. Despite the danger and the countless supernatural enemies he must've made, he missed feeling of peril and even the powerful individuals that they have encountered and conquered.

"Three months, Toast!" Ghost fiercely yelled as he threw a dart at photographs of the paranormal entities from many popular cases they went on, while lying upon an old couch that had been part of the office furniture for as long as their company had become officially recognised.

"Yes, sir. I know," Toast responded, already knowing exactly what his young boss was talking about; he had been complaining about the same thing for at least two months.

"Three months and not a single jump scare, or juicy mystery, or returning character. Even the Pokémon ghosts were more entertaining than the cases we're getting now," Ghost continued to verbally vent. He did perk up slightly when he had managed to spear The Toilet Toucher in his private parts, but had returned to his sulky mood soon after.

Toast decided to reject his current task of paying the bills for the office/home that they had found themselves living in. He slowly walked over to the couch where Ghost was continuing to angrily throw darts. Toast noticed that Donald Trump had made it on the "Reaccuring Paranormal Entity" Dart board.

"Come now, Sir. I know things have been getting a little unremarkable at the moment, but we should really be counting our blessings here. After all, we are still alive and in one piece. Not to mention, sir, that we are still getting paid," Toast commented, trying to cheer his partner's morose demeanor.

"I know, Johnny. It's just... I never thought Paranormal Investigating would become so boring," Ghost said glumly, "Do you remember when we were kids, Johnny?"

"No, sir. I'm afraid I can't remember forty-five percent of my own life," Toast said sarcastically.

Ghost looked up at Toast with a sour face, "No. I was talking about when we first wanted to become paranormal investigators. I must have been around six or seven, at the time. When we would creep through the forest at night with my mother's vacuum cleaner, I had never felt so happy. I had so much passion about my future. So much so, I could never wait until we were older and we started going around the neighbours' houses for ghosts.

Toast remembered those moments, himself. They were always little trouble-makers. Toast was thankful that they weren't as forceful as they were back then, otherwise they would surely be behind bars by now.

"Now, look were we are," Ghost raised his arms and drifted them around. Toast clearly understood that he was indicating the office, "We live in a small office with only enough money to live on. Our equipment is mediocre at best. Now, we don't even get the excitement from ghost hunting anymore," Ghost looked down with a defeated look on his face.

Although Toast could not see Ghost's depressed face, he could defiantly tell that his best friend was emotionally wounded due to the crushed voice that sounded like Ghost was about to cry. Toast, being Ghost's beloved colleague and friend, could not stand to see Ghost like this.

Toast crouched down and wrapped his arms around Ghost's head, giving him a hug. Although, due to Ghost lying down on the couch and Toast hugging his head from behind, it was a lot more awkward than Toast had originally intended it to be.

Ghost looked around in vain, his eyes covered by Toast's arms. Toast was also unintentionally crushing Ghost's nose, too. Ghost began to cough and shoved Toast's arms off his head.

"Johnny. What in the world are you doing?" Ghost asked indecently.

Toast was quick to raise his hands in defence, "Sorry, sir. I was just trying to make you feel better and all. I didn't mean to make you uneasy," he quickly warbled.

"That's it. I've had enough," Ghost took this moment to rise, "I'm going for a walk, Toast. Keep the place orderly until I get back."

Toast looked down at the floor after rising back up from his crouched position, "Oh-uh... Right, sir. Yes," he weakly stammered out.

Ghost left and Toast sighed while scuffed his shoes across the dark wooden floor. Toast never knew how to handle Johnny whenever he got mad or upset. Even when he went crazy, Toast could usually get him to be rational again. Yet, whenever it came to comforting Ghost, it would always be inelegant and clumsy.

Toast was interrupted from his brooding by an ear-piercing ringing. Toast first had to cover his ears before he could walk over to the internal contraption that was the office phone. Toast hated it for its huge volume. It always managed to scare the life out of him whenever it rang. Toast chuckled to himself before picking it up; he can handle ghosts, demons, gnomes and animatronics without an audible yelp, yet an office phone gets him frightened.

Toast picked up the phone, not really predicting anything too great. He expecting it to be another call from Spooker or a death-threat from one of the Acachallas. Still, he had to keep that British formalness, otherwise where would P.I.E be.

"Hello, this is P.I.E – Paranormal Investigators Extraordinaire. How can I help you?" Toast asked and waited for a reply.