Inhale Exhale

Pothead girl

"You skipped the rest of the day?!" Faith scolded me, but I barely listened. I knew she wasn't mad that I left, she was mad because I didn't take her with me.

"Yeah, I did. Are we done?" I saw her eyes widen as the words escaped my mouth. "Uh, yeah I guess." Faith replied, emotionally shrinking into her bed.

I thought about Liam and how he looked when he chuckled. He never laughed, or smiled, but he chuckled and smirked. He was about halfway there.

I found myself smiling as I thought about our day. It wasn't some cliche, crazy interesting day. We walked around town talking, I doing the most part.

"You don't talk much do you?" I asked, enjoying the sun on my pale skin. His green eyes pierced through me. "No." He simply stated. "Why not?" I pushed and he seemed to debate on snapping at me or answering. "There's nothing to say."

I thought about that. Even though his mouth said those words, I notice how he constantly looked like he wanted to say something. I wanted to hear what he thought and I wanted to hear his questions. I haven't been this interested in someone in a long time.

Something about Liam though, he was a mystery I wanted to solve.

We sat in the field of grass and I closed my eyes, focusing on the warmth that danced through me from the sun. After a while, the beautiful silence was interrupted by giggles from a couple passing by. "Luke stop." She giggled more and they bumped shoulders.

"Ugh." Liam made a disgusted noise and I agreed. "Yeah, same." I agreed and he quickly looked at me.

"You don't believe in love?" He asked, like he couldn't believe it. Another question I had been asked and made a thousand excuses for, but I wanted to be truthful with him. "I don't have time for it."

He would get a different idea, but I didn't have time to love anyone. I barely had six months to live, how could I find true love right before I die? That's selfish.

"I don't believe in love. I've never loved someone." My heart broke at his words. "You've never loved your family?" I asked in disbelief.

"I have no family."

At that moment I felt a bond with Liam. I won't say that I have no family, because I have Faith, Kelly, and the rest of their family. Though, I had no love for my biological family. They're the reason I'm sick, my mother may have given birth to me, but the moment I was conceived, she took my life away.

"Me either." He looked at me for a split second, then turning his gaze back to the road.

Maybe I don't have any reason to live. Maybe I should just stop the chemo therapy and wait.

No, I promised Faith I would keep fighting. I don't want to be someone who gives up. I don't want to be weak.

The next day came almost too quickly. I waited outside for a while, dreaming about not being sick. For the first time since I was small, I wished I wasn't sick. "Skipping again? Don't tell me this will become a habit Ms. Vail." The principal said walking past me and I just shook my head.

I looked around for a place to sit and I found Liam sitting under a tree with a sketch book. I didn't walk toward him, I just watched him. He never looked up from his book but his pencil moved swiftly across it. I watched every muscle in his arm as he moved and I watched him bite the right corner of his bottom lip.

Then suddenly, his green eyes met mine and I was paralyzed. Something about his eyes made me feel like a deer caught in headlights. He made it harder to breethe than it already is. My head told me to stay away from him but everything else about me was drawn to him, and it overwhelmed me.

My feet began to move toward him without my permission. Step by step I got closer and his green eyes never left mine. A piece of his black hair fell in front of his eyes, breaking our contact and allowing me to think for a moment, but I never stopped walking. I sat beside him, at a good distance, and we just sat there. A comfortable silence surrounded us as he returned to his sketch and I enjoyed the sun.

The bell rang and Liam helped me to my feet, to which I was grateful for. When his back was turned, I took a silent drag of oxygen to start the day.

Fighting through the hallways was always the struggle of the day, but it had never been this bad. I felt someone grab my arm tightly and I knew there was going to be a bruise in a few seconds. The hand that grabbed me had perfectly manicured, pink nails and a pretty bracelet on the wrist. She shoved me into the lockers and I cowered away into a ball. I left my backpack behind me, so that it wouldn't fall and no one would see what was inside.

"You're a little pothead aren't you? Is that what you were doing with Liam yesterday?" I looked at her trying to find any hint as to what she was talking about, but I didn't find any.

"Don't look at me like that. I see you smoking whatever it is that's in your bag. You think you're sneaky? You're not. You're not good for him and he deserves better than some useless pothead and-"

"Gina, that's enough." Liam quietly said and walked toward me and crouched down. He grabbed my hand helped me up and I was confused. Why was he helping me? Who was that? Why was she so angry with me? Why did she care so much for Liam?

I knew one thing for sure, I was going to be the new pothead girl now, because I can't tell everyone what's really wrong with me.

I can't tell them the truth.