The Order

~

A wise man once told me "Your failure isn't a measure of how strong your opponent is, but a measure of how weak you are." Some kind of fucked up self-improvement mentality bullshit. Come to think of it, he probably wasn't even as wise so much as he was a tortured soul in the outer shell of a complete nut job. But still, negatives have to be true at least sometimes. Depends on how you word it. The way you think, how you warp things in your own mind to make them comprehensible to you specifically. And what parts get lost in translation. Anyone can sound all inspiring with the right words. Whether they're as brain-dead as you are or if they just depend on it. Things seem so complicated in the hierarchy. Rules on what's acceptable and what's not. How to manipulate and control your way through life, and what determines you as an outsider. Some of us don't want to submit. Others are just oblivious to what they're trapped in. And the rest just like it that way.

~

Niko: 6'2, dark hair, and brown eyes that seemed to sparkle when he talked about the things he loves. You could see it in his face. Beautiful and mysterious, yet bleak and tragic at the same time. And even though he wasn't all too sure of what he was, he always had a purpose. Something he was passionate about. Tall and confident and dead set on a goal. I didn't really understand what that goal was, but it was there. And he was all mine. We both had kind of a troubled past with people quick to judge or "give their opinion." Fucked up in the head and not the best home life. Eager to move out of the shithole we called "home" and start a better life. And we made people sick, like some weird lovesick birds.. Because I can't really think of any other animals.. You get the point... Although that doesn't really matter that much to you so it's not that important.. but he used to be to me. Then there was Gwen. Almost a polar opposite of Niko. Her eyes were green, like a secluded forest.. And she didn't really understand much. She called me her best friend. And even though she said the same thing about almost everyone, I didn't really mind. I usually don't let people get too close to me. I'd say she meant as much to me as I did to her. I'm not entirely sure how she rose to that position in my life, but I didn't complain. She was on the verge of the whole school at least knowing who she was and she never really understood me. But she needed me. She'd hypocritically get possessive of me then ignore me for days, but I was always the one staying on the phone with her till 5 in the morning because there's constantly something wrong in her life.