I Don't Understand, But I'd Like To.
I don't understand my fathers addiction, but I'd like to. I don't understand why he does what he does, but I'd like to. I don't understand why he picked the drug he did, but I'd like to. I don't understand why he chooses to assosiate with people who are only there to take from and poison him, but I'd like too. I'd like to understand why he does all of these things. They do not make me love him any less. It hurts me to think that he is so wrapped up in an addiction that is slowly deteriorating him, and so many of the people around him only want to watch him crash and burn. He is here, supporting their addictions as well as his own and supporting them with their every whim but the second he is caught, or god forbid, he runs out of all of his money, where will they be? Gone. Like dust in the wind. No one will still be there. I'm sure a few will be. Of course, there always has to be a few... Right? Right. And let me set
something straight, what I mean by, "I want to understand", is simple, I want to know what compelled him towards this life and all of these bad people. That doesn't mean I want to delve into this life and get strung out just to see why he does it. I want to understand, but I will not go that far to do the understanding. I will take a breath to say, YES addiction is a disease, but unlike many diseases, addiction has a cure! Addiction can be battled and stopped with the right amount of willingness and strongmindedness and support! My father, as well as others of thousands, have a curable disease! I can't say, that I understand it! Or even try to pretend that I do! Because I don't! But if he needs someone to hold his hand and walk with him through the rough patches then you can bet your ass I will be there every single step of the goddamn way with him! And if you have family suffering from an addiction do not shun them!! Do not tell them they are worthless! Do not tell them
they are and never will be anything more than an addiction!! They will always be so much more than an addict and their addiction!! They will forever be, brothers and sisters, fathers and mothers, sons and daughters, nephews and neices, AND ABOVE ALL THEY WILL ALWAYS BE HUMAN BEINGS AND PEOPLE! Just because they went a little off road doesn't mean they no longer have feelings or that they no longer matter!! Because they do! I do not understand their addiction, but I'd like to.
*Ad-dic-tion - the state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming, as narcotics, to such an extent that its cessation causes severe trauma.
