Sad Destiel One Shots

Love, Dean

It's like the tears... Melting from my eyes right now... I can feel them bubbling up beneath the skin in my cheeks... And as they roll hot trails down my face, searching... Searching for something... My heart is sending little rain drop soldiers out on a search for what it craves for... But really it's not my heart... Really it's just the empty endless black pit replacing it. Because what happened to my heart... Has left an eternal black hole to rot inside my emptiness... It has left more than just a mark. Why my heart had to leave... So beautiful... So... Beyond anything I'd ever seen before. And for so long I had loved... And I did nothing... And now... Now he's gone... Now Cas is gone and... There's nothing I can do to bring him back. No deal I can make with any devil, with any God or angel or demon. No spell or witchcraft or demonic performance I can do to make him come back! Because he's not coming back! And neither is my heart... Because when he left, he did more than just take my heart with him... He was my heart...

Dear Castiel...
I wish I had told you... How much I loved you, how much I still love you... But even if I had, there are no words to describe... No words to explain my love for you... It's like... Like the sky Cas... Remember when we looked up at the sky, that time on that hill in the middle of no where and it was so beautiful? Remember? All those different colors painting it and then I was looking into your eyes... And I saw more than just beauty... Well it's like the sky Cas, it's like that sky. Infinite. Forever. When I looked into your eyes... I'd get lost in eternity... I loved that embrace it gave me... That sanctuary... When I was with you, Cas please hear me... I need you to know... And every time I go outside... I walk to that hill... And I just sit down... Rain or no rain... And I watch the sky... Sometimes I lay down... Sometimes I stand... And when it rains I know you're crying for me... And when there's a rainbow I know you're smiling... And when the sunsets I know you're dying... And then I see the stars... And I see heaven... In your eyes.... And then when the sun peaks over the top of that hill Cas, I see you reborn. And I'm forced to watch you leave everyday. And come back to me in the sky. But I can never reach you... My fingers stretch up as high as they can, reaching out for you... But still I cannot touch you, feel you in my arms... You're like the clouds... Clouds are mountains... I've always dreamed of climbing... But I could never get to them... I can never get to you Cas... And I'm sorry... What I really want you to know... Is that I love you... I love you Castiel... More than you will ever know... Or... More than you ever knew at least.
Love....
Dean...