Mitch's eyes began to well up. He wiped frustratedly at them with the back of his hand, on the verge of losing it completely. He sniffed once and shook his head. "Scott, don't you know I could never move on to something bigger and better?" You were my soulmate, he wanted to say. You were the only person who stuck with me through everything.
Well, until he didn't.
Scott was misty-eyed and more than a little surprised. He opened his mouth to speak, but couldn't seem to find the words. He opted for gaping like a fish until Mitch spoke again.
"Scott I can't sleep. I wake up in the middle of the night thinking about what I've been missing. You--" Mitch gestured at Scott, up and down with his hand, "you seem like everything's going, um, great." He sighed and dropped his head. He shuffled the toe of his shoe through some dirt on the porch beneath him.
When he looked up again, brow furrowed in question, he saw something unrecognizable pass through Scott's expression. Scott lifted his hand to the back of his neck, scratching his head awkwardly. "Uh, yeah, not really. My mom passed away three weeks ago," he said, his voice cracking as he continued, "I've been kind of--" he broke off. At that moment, his face crumpled into an expression Mitch recognized from when they were little. It was innocent, pure, childlike despair. Whether he fell off the swings or didn't make an audition it would always be the same once they were alone together and Scott let his guard down and would begin to sob.
It broke Mitch's heart clean in two.
How many times in the past three weeks has he had to face this alone? Mitch wondered. He instinctively got closer to Scott, arms wide and accepting. He looked up into Scott's eyes as if asking for permission, then stepped up onto the threshold to envelop him in a hug.
Mitch stood on tiptoe and brought Scott's head to his chest, allowing him to let out a sob. He closed his eyes and tried not to let the butterflies in his stomach worry him too much.
He wasn't prepared for the warmth that spread through his chest as he held the man who was once his best friend. He tried to ignore how easily they fit together, how when Scott stood up straighter, his chin came to rest on Mitch's shoulder.
Scott collected himself after a moment, running a hand past his eyes to catch any stray tears. Mitch smiled at him gently, searching Scott's eyes for some indication that he felt a little better.
All of a sudden, a steely and eerie calm came over Scott. Mitch wasn't sure what was going on, but the Scott in front of him was not the emotional and exposed person that was just standing there a second before.
"Earth to Scott? Hello?" Mitch asked delicately. He tipped his head in thought while he waited for a response. When none came for a few seconds, Mitch began to worry. If he didn't know better, he would think Scott had fallen asleep standing up, eyes open.
His face was completely relaxed, reminding Mitch of sleepovers from when they were young. Mitch could never sleep when he was at someone else's house, so he would read or write-- or just watch how peaceful Scott was when the stresses of the day completely left him.
Scott shifted uncomfortably against the doorframe, crossing and uncrossing his arms a few times. Mitch snapped out of his memory and looked into Scott's eyes. He seemed to be trying to bring his vision back into focus, looking just past Mitch before he made eye contact with him again.
Scott cleared his throat. "I'm sorry, did I just--" He gestured at his face and seemed to be trying to come up with a word but couldn't find it.
Mitch looked over his face, peering into his eyes before landing on his hands. Scott was blushing and fidgeting distractedly.
Mitch reached to take Scott's hands in his own to try to calm him down or connect with him or something, but Scott just pulled his hands away.
Mitch looked down at his palms. The summer air he felt across his fingertips was shaped like Scott's hands.
When he looked back, Scott was shaking his head. "Mitch, I'm not doing well, I should really get back inside..." He rubbed his knuckles like they were burnt. His breathing was heavy and tears threatened to spill over his cheeks.
"Scotty, wait, I can help you! I came back for you!"
The air completely left his lungs as Scott slammed his front door.
Mitch took one step back, turned around to sit on the step, and sobbed.
---
Author's Note: I'm back????? I'm sorry???
