Hot Fuzz

Intrologue

Hello everyone! So ive been browsing fanfiction for years now ( probably since I was 13....wayyyyy back in the 2008-2011 range....my age will remain a secret) and I wrote a couple fanfics on the past on an account I don't even remember the username for... anyways after seeing Zootopia I found my second ever OTP....I know I'm a lame fanboy...shut up. But Nick and Judy were so perfect I instantly started reading every single M-rated (or T if I ran out of M stuff to read....I blew through an 80K story in a couple hours) romantic fic I could find. I am currently following 40 of them (yeah, I know) and instead of constantly being bored with waiting for content to be released (yeah, I KNOW) I decided to write my own. Being busy with college and work and life I haven't written anything in a year or so, so I may be a bit rusty but I hope that you will like the story I will craft. Knowing there are people out there like me who don't like waiting for good things I will try to update this story EVERY SINGLE DAY.... With chapters at LEAST 4k words long!!!!.....Now I know you might think "oh hey look at Mr.Optimistic over here, well LIFE happens buddy and you'll slip and I'll catch you!" Well...yeah probably but ill make sure to at least post an update on the rare occasion I can't get an entire chapter finished or I get the cursed writers block.

Okay, so with my intro out of the way let's get to the story...

BUT FIRST MAJOR WARNING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This Story Contains:

Sex.... VERY DESCRIPTIVE SEX...I know how much people enjoy it because I am one of them.....also LOTS of sexual jokes, innuendos, and general fucking around

Swearing....its part of language and its fucking fantastic for gripping dialogue

Drugs....most people do 'em , myself included (don't worry im not a heroin addict, pot is legal in 4 states and 5 countries anyways.....where do you think the greatest writers got their ideas?....Shakespeare didn't come up with the Tempest sober people!) ALSO it's a cop story....cops arrest drug users

Violence....because you can't have bad-assery without it

And last but certainly not least...DANK MEMES!!!!!!

.......kidding.....

But there will be some offensive humor.......set as HUMOR....so I better not get anyone crying to me about hurt feelings, capiche?

If you don't like any of these things. Or they make you cringe, trigger, or just generally pussy out....i STRONGLY advise you not to read this story....you may go now...

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They gone?!?........Excellent! Now that I have weeded out the fuckboys and pussies (FULL cat pun intended....cmon it's a Zootopia story...you REALLY thought you were gunna avoid animal puns? HA!)

Let the story begin:

Nick groaned as the dim sunlight stung his eyes. Transitioning from an amber hue to the full-fledged golden beam it would become at noontime. He groaned as his eyes slowly inched open, not wanting to move a single muscle yet, he unlocked his phone and was blinded by the screen brightness. 'Fuck" he thought, realizing he had been absent minded enough to let it stay full luminosity before he passed out the night before. Quickly sliding the adjustment bar down to a minimum, he took his time in focusing his eyes at the screen; the clock read 5:30am. "How the fuck did I get roped into waking up this early on a Monday morning"

He silently judged himself for a couple seconds before realizing that he had 2 new messages from Judy:

"Hey Nick, you up? Just about to head over and grab you for some breakfast, Snarlbucks sound okay?"

He looked beneath it

"Well Mr.Sleepybutt I guess I'll just have to waltz right into your apartment and wake you up myself"

That one was sent at 5:10am....Judy only lived 15 minutes away at the most. He didn't hear any knocking on his door... so she wasn't here yet. He resolved that she would be here any minute so he should probably get some pants on, while sleeping natural was more comfortable it didn't make the best for greeting your best friend/coworker at five in the morning. He locked his phone and mentally prepared himself to get up. This was always the hardest part. He could do it in his head, picture himself leaping from underneath the covers into a fresh outfit of stylish clothes, sliding into the kitchen as his BluTooth speaker blared his favorite tunes, ready to make some delicious breakfast...but when he stopped he was still lying on his side in bed, another 5 minutes wasted. He groaned and shifted himself to his other side, at least now he was facing the edge of the bed, or at least he would be, if there wasn't a rabbit on it.

Hold up.

WHAT

"Hey Sleepyface, wondered when you were finally going to get up"

His scream shook the room, but not Judy.

"What the FUCK are you doing?!" He bellowed, flabbergasted that she was just lying on the bed right next to him, in full police uniform, a devious smirk on her face, exactly the same gloating smirk she always had when she outsmarted him. Wall, not exactly the same one. This one had a tinge of lust mixed in as well. Her face transfixed him for a moment, as if he was trying to figure out the lustful impurity in her smile

"Enjoying the view" She pulled out her phone from her chest pocket and took a quick picture before he realized. In the whirlwind of astonishment he seemed to have thrown his only bodily covering fabric in a random direction, thus exposing himself to the very curious, and right now, satisfied bunny. Quickly attempting to cover his privates, though at this point there really was no reason, he scampered to his blanket and make himself a temporary toga.

"Okay, one, Judy you are deleting that this instant or your parents are finding out that you have three bottles of Tundra Carrot Vodka in your apartment, and two of said bottles are completely empty" She stopped grinning.

"Two, how the flying FUCK did you get in here?!" Her grin returned.

"Dumb fox, you told me where your spare key was last week, so seeing as you weren't awake yet and your neighbor got mad at me for banging on your door this early in the morning, I thought I'd let myself in and cook you breakfast.....I gotta say, I took a bet with you being a heavy sleeper but I am SOO glad I was right." He stared at her. "God dayumn she's good, I'd rather impale myself on a bed of rusty spikes than even think about pissing her off" His mind rewinded to the middle of her sentence. "Cook you breakfast....food?....she made food?!"

"You made food Carrots?" He wasn't even mad anymore, and started speed-walking toward the kitchen, still enrobed in his makeshift toga.

Judy rolled her large amethyst eyes "Males, only two ways to please them: through the stomach or through the cock"

"You got that right Carrots...ooh! You made BLUEBERRY PANCAKES!?" She could hear Nick squeal with delight "Although food worked, I would have rather taken option B this morning, ugh....Judy...don't think that...you're disgusting.....you can't let him find out...." After a couple seconds of mentally wrestling with herself to keep her feelings a secret, she climbed off his bed and joined him in the kitchen for some pancakes.

"Ugh..fuck...not telling him I'm in heat all week is going to fucking kill me......but I can't risk anyone else finding out...hell....I don't even know if he likes me like that..."

Hey! I know this was really short but I wanted to finish it before I went to bed tonight, and I have work in the morning so I can't stay up for hours more and make this as long as I want.

Still, this was just the intro and it sort of set things up. I will update tomorrow night maybe around 3am EST...hey....you want long chapters right? Anyways reviews are MUCH appreciated and so are follows and favs. Next chapter should have some POVs in it , both Nick and Judy.

Night :3 ~Sidra~