the curious incident of the dog in the night-time

Epilogue

*Ten Years Later*

It was my 24th birthday. And also the day i visit Mother at the cemetery. Not everything Father told me about her was a lie, she truly was sick.

I didn't know it at the time, not until I figured out for myself that Father had been lying to me about Mother having a heart attack for years. I didn't stop to question it, not until days into my investigation of the death of Wellington.

I was naive. Still am. Doesn't matter though, I've matured. I can handle my emotions down to a science, since of course that's my life and I mostly cherish it.

***

When I arrived at the cemetery, Mr. Grayson greeted me and of course he asked how my day was going. I don't lie, so I said not good. He nodded his head and gave me a sad look, so I just went on to Mother's grave.

Ten years ago, I found out that my Father as a liar, and a killer. I resented him for that, in more ways than one, I'm still afraid of him. But that doesn't matter now, since I moved away to London, to Mother's flat and kicked out Mr Shears.

***

When I reached Mother's grave, Father was already there. His face was buried in his hands, tears all over his face. I wanted to feel bad for him, but I didn't. I hated him, I resented him, I feared him, but of course I didn't show him any of that. I decided not to speak or make any kind of facial expression.

When he looked at me, Father cried even more. He told me all the time that I was a spitting image of Mother, and the older I got, the more he could see her in me. I just furrowed my brows, trying to hold back any new-found emotion I had.

"Christopher.." he said to me placidly, wiping tears from his cheeks. "Say hello to your Mother.."

Without another word, Father turned away and began to walk in the direction of his car, leaving me alone at Mother's headstone. I put the flower next to her name. Her favorites were gardenias, so that's what I put there. I got on my knees and ran my fingers across the words written on the cold stone: HERE LIES JUDY ELIZABETH BOONE
MOTHER AND LOVING WIFE.

I felt my cheeks get warm and my eyes begin to sting as the tears swelled up in my head. I felt my pocket move, forgetting that Toby was in it, and that he needed air. I didn't want him to get loose, so after a few seconds I popped the button closed on my jacket pocket again.

I knew Mother couldn't hear me, but i decided to speak anyway: "Mother, I miss you. That I hope you know even though I know you can't hear me. I was so happy to have you back in my life again. And I am so sorry that Father is a liar. I know you cannot express this now, and you may feel this more than I, but I hate Father. I hate him for telling me for days, weeks, months, and years that you were gone. I would've come to you sooner, but he is a liar. He lied to me. I'm sorry Mother."

With that, tears were streaming down my face now, I got up and said. "I love you.." and walked away. I had no car, so I took the bus back to London, even though Father had offered me a ride.

I day dreamed about that day, years ago when Father and Mother took me to the park and I chased the squirrel and fell on my face. That day when I defined myself. That day when Mother spread her fingers to make a fan and I did the same.. Those were good days.

And I wish I could have that time I lost with Mother back, but alas, she is gone now. Forever, and this time.. I can't have her back.. It's a sad thing to think about, especially after you just figured out what the word truly meant years and years of being oblivious to your own thoughts and skin.. I could definitely feel the difference. I had no idea how truly oblivious I was about the world, until the day I lost her. I don't know what or who I would be today if I hadn't gotten her back at all.. I'll remember that, hoping that the idea will keep me sane. .