I can't take it any longer, this feeling, this awful feeling. It has a name, its name is 'love'.
It truly is a curse. She is so beautiful, he blue eyes, they glow, when I look into them, I forget my troubles, I let the love flow through me. Until she turns away, then it sinks to the pit of my stomach, and it tears me up. Her hair, never have I seen such beauteous light brown hair, it always seem to cover her face slightly. It was such a shame, her face, prettiest face Ill ever know, I cannot help being caputered by its bewitching beauty. In some ways I hope she reads this, perhaps she will relize just how incredibly stunning she is, or though it is doubtful, I have told her so many times, it never seems to get through. Still, in other ways I hope she doesnt read it, if she relieses its her, and that I wrote it, I would never be able to look her in the eye again. Never be able to see those georgeous blue eyes again, that might just kill me. Im so shy, It took me six years, just to work up the courage to talk to her for more than a few seconds. As it turns out, it was on Facebook. Just that day, we had P.E together, I had spent all lesson not talking to her, but trying ever so desperatly to get her to notice me. Diving and leaping everywhere, trying to win the pointless game, but I never once caught her looking my way. I was actually very fit, for a depressed nerd who spends his nights wishing that the girl would be his. After school, at home, watching the computer screne for any movment on facebook that may keep me entertained. Suddenly, she posts a statues, stating that she wants someone to talk to, apparntly I was in a brave mood that day, so I talking to her, on facebook. I know what your thinking, 'Wow. talking to a girl on facebook, how brave' But you have no idea how much this girl means to me. since grade five, she was continued to catch my eye, you might say it was love at first sight, but I dont think 5th graders can feel love, only develop it. So I talk to her, to my up most surprise, she talks back, she's nice, like I already knew. But we just talk, about how shitty P.E was that day, but It all goes well, and has continued to for the last year and a half.
I finished year 10, and moved schools. I moved away from her, not by choice, where I come from, High school finishes at year 10, then on to year 11 and 12. I should have talked face to face when we were at school, instead of hiding behind my keyboard like that coward I am. So I still havnt spent anytime with her in this year and a half, Iv asked, but some how, it never happends. She is coming to my school next year, Iv even organised it so we have a class together. Its time to toughen up, I can do this. But the thing is, iv already told her I like her, she showed no interest, im stuck in the 'friend zone' and as much as I try and battle my way out, I feel like my efforts are pointless. I keep hope though, you never know, she might come around. I would be so good to her, treat her like she should be treated, like the most beautful girl in the world, because to me, she is. Facebook photos, it can destroy a mans spirit, or maybe just mine. It isnt even that bad, her drinking with another guy, getting close on the couch, Im sure nothing happend, but then why do I feel like this?
She puts her self down, all the time, another thing that makes me die inside, how would you like it if someone was telling the person you loved they were ugly, imagine that, only worse, because they actually believe it. I tell her so much, she isnt fat, she isnt ugly, shes amazing. Why cant she see what I see?
We are going to have to hang out a little next year, or at least see each other, but I cant wait that long, Im nearly dying just waiting for it, Im going to ask her somewhere, I dont know where, maybe the movies?
As you can tell I dont do this very often at all, but i have to try, because for nearly seven years, iv watched her beauty grow into the alluring woman she is now, and I have to have her, Im going crazy just thinking about it, come on man, I can do this, just ask her, maybe she will come around.....
