It Wasn't Me [Samifer]

Sam was so wrecked and scarred by Lucifer. He didn’t like seeing him all the time. He wasn’t able to sleep; he wasn’t able to think. Nothing. Having hallucinations of the Devil weren’t what you’d call, ‘awesome’. He finally got rid of all his hallucinations a year after they started. He was so glad they were gone. He was able to return to his normal, (well if you could call it normal), life again.

He began hunting normally, like before. Dean even smiled and told him that he was glad his baby brother was better. Sam just glared, telling his older brother that he wasn’t a baby. Dean just laughed and kept driving.

Sam didn’t have a problem until about a week later, when Dean was on a hunt out of town. He gave Sam another case, which the younger hunter quickly and briefly took care of. It was very unlikely that they ever split up, but when it happened, they knew if they needed each other, to call no matter the time or circumstance.

The problem started with a knock on the motel door. Sam looked up from his computer and grabbed his gun, knowing that Dean wouldn’t be back for at least another day. He cocked it back as he opened the door. He gasped shakily and dropped the gun, backing away. Lucifer. He was back again. No, no, no. This couldn’t be happening. Sam pressed back against the wall as the man-no, Devil walked into the room, shutting the door behind himself.

“Sam.” Lucifer said in a soft tone.

“S-Stay away from me!” Sam managed to say, shaking as the blonde stepped closer. Much closer.

“Sam, I’m not here to hurt you.”

“Yeah, right. Like you didn’t want to hurt me last time?” The taller man narrowed his eyes and breathed through his nose, clenching his jaw together tightly.

“I’m real, Sam.”

“No, you’re not.” He shook his head.

“Could you feel me when I was a hallucination?”

“You still are, but no.”

“Then I can prove I’m real.” Lucifer nodded as he reached his hand up to Sam, making the taller man try to move away. He placed his hand on Sam’s cheek gently. “I’m real. See?”

Sam swallowed hard, but slowly relaxed against the cool touch. He tilted his head slightly and briefly in confusion. Lucifer was back. He didn’t want to hurt Sam. What the hell? What the actual hell...It took Sam a moment before he reacted and pinned Lucifer to the wall.

“You fucked with my mind! You made me almost kill myself! You made me go crazy enough for me to be admitted to a mental hospital!” Sam gritted his teeth, hurt filling his eyes.

“Sam, that wasn’t me. I swear.”

“Oh, yeah. Like I’m going to believe the Devil is telling the truth.”

“Let me go, Sam. I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You wrapped chains around my throat and pulled me up to the ceiling. You made me feel like I was choking!” His grip got tighter on Lucifer’s shoulders, slowly lifting the Devil from the carpet on the motel room floor.

“I’m so sorry, Sam. I didn’t. It wasn’t me. I’ve been in the pit that whole time. How could I have been there to mess with you?” Lucifer explained with soft eyes.

Sam took realization. It was actually true. He had no idea how. He slowly let Lucifer go, putting his feet back on the floor. He backed away then sat down in the chair at his computer. So many thoughts were going through his mind right now; he didn’t know what to do with them. He felt a cool touch on his shoulder, making him shuddered slightly.

“I was in the pit, Sam. I couldn’t possibly have done anything to you in that time.” Lucifer’s voice danced around Sam’s head, clearing all of his previous thoughts.

“Then what was it?” Sam said dryly.

“Honestly, I think it was just you. It was a part of your mind that needed someone there. So, you chose me.” He cautiously stepped closer to Sam. “You know that I would never hurt you intentionally.”

“You’re the Devil. You can do anything. You lie.”

“I’ve told you that I would never lie or trick you. Did I not?”

“Yeah. You did...” Sam muttered.

Sam felt a hand run through his hair. He didn’t bother looking up. He leaned his forehead against the nearest surface. The middle of Lucifer’s chest. It was cool and eased away the headache that tempted to form in Sam’s head. He felt the cool hand slowly stroke and smooth out his hair.

“You have no idea how bad those hallucinations were.” Sam held himself up by gripped Lucifer’s waist. He finally had someone to talk to about this, even if it was the Devil. It was strange to Sam how much he trusted Lucifer. Really strange.

“I’ve seen them, Sam. Why do you think I came here?” The devil kept a hand on Sam’s shoulder blade and the other through the tall man’s hair. “I wanted to see what they did to you. I’m so sorry.” He said softly, in more of a whisper.

Sam, honestly, felt safe and calm at the moment. Coolness washing over him with every move of Lucifer’s hand through his hair or the soothingly rubbed his back, making the pain go away. Lucifer didn’t want to hurt him. He should have known that from the beginning, but those hallucinations were so real...

This was all he wanted for right now. Someone to hold him, comfort him, and tell him that everything was okay and everything was going to be okay.