The sky was dull and grey as raindrops precipitated from it, soaking the city. It was only noon but the darkened sky made it seem as if it was much later in the day.
The droplets of water trickled down, all in different speeds, on the window of Zayn's room. He closely watched two raindrops to see which one would reach the bottom first, as he burned through a cigarette.
Zayn was expected to be at work four hours ago, but yet he was still inside his home dressed in a faded, slightly torn t-shirt and sweatpants. His hair was severely disheveled, even though he had woken up hours ago and a slight scruff covered his jaw area. He had turned his phone off so the receptionist at his workplace wouldn't be able to reach him.
Seeing one of the droplets reach the other end of the window, he let out a heavy sigh and extinguished his cigarette in an ashtray, which was set on the bedside table. He turned away from the window and walked towards his small closet which didn't consist of many clothes.
Zayn wasn't in the mood to do anything. He only wanted to stay inside his house and either idly lay on his bed or sit on the couch, and just smoke through packs of those cancerous sticks. He didn't feel like this due to the gloomy weather today. No, he felt like wanting to do this until he exhaled out his last breath of air.
To say Zayn was depressed, was the least of what he felt on the whole. He felt hopeless and lifeless. He finally accepted the idea of him being a waste of space. As the hope of gaining back his sanity and to learn to love himself again, little by little slipped away from him, Zayn felt a small part of him die along with it every time.
Not being able to tolerate the pain of knowing and seeing himself slowly deteriorate as each second passed by, Zayn wanted to pull himself out of this misery fast. Seeing as to nothing was able to cure his mind disease, he concluded there was only one other way and it was sure to be successful.
Zayn slipped off a light blue button up and a black knitted cardigan from their hangers. From the shelve built inside the closet, he pulled out a pair of beige trousers. Before closing the door, he lastly grabbed the iron which was located on one of the top shelves.
Taking the articles of clothing and the iron in his hands, he next walked towards his bed and placed them on top of it. Once plugging in the iron, he first started with his shirt and then his pants.
After he was done ironing, Zayn went to the washroom to properly freshen up this time. He brushed his teeth again and then proceeded to brush his hair, as always styling it up. At the end, he grabbed a shaving stick and at once began to free his face from the facial hair.
Once he was done making himself look clean and proper, Zayn studied himself in the mirror for a moment. Satisfied with how he looked, he let out a heavy sigh and walked out, to change into his clothes he had chosen for the day.
***
Rose hummed to herself as she wrote away in her journal about how she was feeling, something she did on a daily basis. Her entries for each day now consisted of her scribing that she felt happy and free. But today she also wrote about the weather, and how she loved the rain.
The sound of the rain falling against the windows and roof, brought a sense of peace to Rose's mind. She very much liked the pattering sound it made.
"I'll be a little late today." Aunt Meg said as she rounded up her things to take with her to work today. "So don't wait for me for dinner."
"Oh okay." Rose looked up from her diary, as she was seated by a table in the living room. "How come though?"
"Inventory checking day." she rolled her eyes. "The days I dread the most about work."
Rose giggled in reply.
"Well, I should head out before the weather gets worse." Aunt Meg gave her niece a side hug before she grabbed her bag. "I'll see you later Rosie."
"Bye Aunt Meg." she waved and watched her exit out of the house.
When the house fell silent, Rose closed her journal and looked out the window. She played the words of Aunt Meg about telling her to confess to Zayn about how she felt about him, again in her head. She decided it was the right thing to do.
Rose pulled away from the table and went to grab her coat from the closet. Simultaneously, she began to dial a number to a taxi company to hail a cab.
Once she was dressed up appropriately to step out into the pouring weather, she waited for the cab to arrive. When it did a couple of minutes later, she stepped outside and locked the house behind her before getting into the car.
***
"Thank you." Rose said as she paid the driver for their service.
She stepped outside of the car and quickly walked towards the building's entrance, so she wouldn't get drenched in the rain and then look like a fool in front of Zayn.
It felt refreshing for Rose to walk inside for another purpose and not for the seeking of help. She walked over to the elevators and waited for one to come down after she pressed the button.
Once it did and she got inside, Rose began to feel slightly nervous. But not enough to have her back out from doing this, even though she had no such intention to. Arriving on the designated floor, Rose was quick to stride over to the receptionist's desk once the doors of the elevator slid open.
"Hi." Rose smiled at the woman seated.
"Oh hello Rose. How can I help you?"
"I know I didn't take an appointment but can I please see Dr. Malik for a moment?"
"I'm sorry but he didn't come in today." the woman sympathetically smiled at her.
"Oh." the smile on Rose's lips fell instantly. She decided she had to think of something fast because she really needed to see him today and tell him what she had been wanting to for a while now.
"I can leave him a message for you." the receptionist offered as she reached for a pen and a notepad.
"Can I have his home address?" Rose blurted out.
The woman was taken back by her odd request. "I'm sorry but we can't give out personal information."
"Please? He said if I ever needed to see him urgently and he wasn't in, I could visit him at his home. I forgot to ask him for his address before." she lied.
"I don't know..."
"Are you preventing me from getting the help that I did?" Rose furrowed her eyebrows, to make her lie sound more believable even though she felt kind of bad to lie to the woman.
"No, of course not." she shook her head looking afraid. "Um just give me a moment."
"Thank you." Rose nodded, fighting the urge to grin slyly.
"Here... you go." the receptionist wrote down Zayn's address, copying it off the computer screen in front of her before handing the piece of paper to Rose.
"Thanks again." Rose looked down at the note and then gave the receptionist one last smile before swiftly walking back towards the elevators.
In front of the same building Rose was in at the moment, Zayn was passing it by in the bus he was seated in. He watched the red bricked building appear in front him and then slowly drift away. Unlike always where he would request for the bus to stop, this time he sat still simply eyeing the building with his jaw clenched.
When the building wasn't in his view anymore, Zayn gulped trying to swallow the lump in his throat. His hands were clasped together tightly until his knuckles turned white and he sat straight in his seat, doing what he always did best when in public.
Pretend and show to the world that he wasn't withering away from within, with each passing minute.
Where do you think Zayn's headed? O-o
ONE MORE CHAPTER TO GO!! (and y'all might wanna kill me bye)
Vote & comment!
- B1DL
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Lunacy || z.m. short story
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