sorry

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and im so sorry that i couldn't fill the gap that she left behind. i sincerely apologize for all the times i couldn't pick you up when you were sad. i tried. i honestly did, but i was so caught up in my own sadness i forgot that yours was there too. as selfish as it sounds, i hope i left a gap too because you left a hole in my heart that couldn't be filled with all tears ive ever cried. with a bottle of vodka in one hand and my cellphone in the other i sit here with tear stained cheeks deciding whether or not to call you on at three am on a Tuesday morning. and oh god, im sober now and im still here spilling my thoughts into a social networking site instead because i ran out of vodka the last time i left a voicemail.

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