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Agad na ipinasok si Seven sa emergency room. They did not allow me to enter and left me at the hallway, waiting for him.
Nanatili lamang akong nakasandal sa pader at hinihintay na bumukas iyon. I stared down at my bloody dress. Pilit kong pinunasan iyong natuyong dugo mula roon pero ayaw na nitong maalis.
It hurts too much. My chest hurts too much. Why can't the blood just go away? Why can't it just fade? Why did that happen to Seven?!
Napahawak ako sa dibdib ko at umupo sa sahig. My tears are uncontrollable already. Hindi na ako makahinga sa kakaiyak. Sising sisi ako. If only I did not insist on going to the bar. If only I lowered my pride. If only I did not become too stubborn. If only I let him explain.
If only I am mature enough to see that I am truly childish. Kung sanang tinanggap ko na pareho kaming mali ni Seven dahil hindi namin inintindi ang isa't isa. Kung sanang nag usap kami ng mas maayos at hindi ko siya pinangunahan, hindi kami aabot sa ganitong sitwasyon.
If only.. damn it!
Napahawak ako sa dibdib ko habang tuloy tuloy lamang ang iyak ko. Natatakot ako. NAtatakot ako na baka kapag lumabas ang doktor ay sasabihin niya sa akin na wala na si Seven. At kapag nangyari iyon, alam kong ako lang ang dapat na sisihin.
Bakit ba kasi ang damot ko? He's right. I am childish. A child is selfish. A child never shares his toys. I never wanted to share him with anyone else. Hindi ko nakita na may puso si Seven na nakalaan para sa lahat, hindi lang para sa akin.
I cannot completely own him. His heart is his. I can only have one piece of it and the rest for everyone.
"Cha.."
I looked up and saw Allanis standing near me. Agad na napalitan ng awa ang ekspresyon niya noong makita niya ang kalagayan ko.
"Oh god Chantal." Naiiyak niyang sabi. Nilapitan niya ako at agad na niyakap. I cried on her shoulders and she rubbed my back.
"Si Seven.."
Kahit ako ay naawa sa tono ng boses ko. I sounded like a child who is too afraid of being left alone for the first time. But right now, my fear is more than that. I am afraid of him dying.
'I'm unable to say anything anymore
And am closing my eyes
I said this pain is too strong
For me to cry, watching you with open eyes'Death leaves a scar that nothing can heal. I am afraid of being scarred for life because his love will no longer there to tend for my wounds.
"Stop crying. Seven will not like that." Aniya. Pinunasan ni Allanis iyong luha ko at pinatayo ako.
"I already called Shawn. Papunta na sila ngayon dito. Baka bukas narito na sila." She said, trying to lift my spirits up. Tumango lang ako at patuloy ang pag iyak.
"Chantal.."
"It's my fault. He's there because of me." Mahina kong sabi. Huminga ako ng malalim para pigilan iyong panibagong grupo ng luha na malapit na namang bumagsak.
"It's not Cha. Normal lang na matakot tayong mawawala sa atin yung taong mahal natin." Masuyo niyang sabi. Umiling ako at hinarap siya.
"You don't understand!"
"I understand it perfectly Chantal. You're young and you're scared. Seven understands that too. That is why he will never blame you for anything Cha." Nilingon niya iyong emergency room at nagkibit balikat.
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BINABASA MO ANG
Seven Stars- LEGACY 1 (AWESOMELY COMPLETED)
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