Pure At Heart

Pure At Heart (1) New York or Bust?

“And the dreams vanish with the call to prayer – And the dawn extinguishes night.”

                                                                    ____

For the 4th time, I put my alarm clock on snooze and turned on my side, feeling the warmth of my soft and comfortable bed. Slightly opening my right eye, I woke up with a startle. I could see the sun rays already visible on the horizon. Oh Allah! I barely had time for Fajr now. Still, I ran to my bathroom to make wudhu and catch my fajr prayer. Alhumdulillah, there was still time and I easily performed my salah.

As I was about to go back to bed, someone knocked on my door. I rubbed my eyes as opened the door to see my sister standing. “Are you done with your packing? Baba’s putting the bags in the car right now”, she said, peaking in my room to get an answer for her question.

I nodded. “Here”, I said, handing her the heavy black duffle bag. I watched as she struggled to carry it downstairs but I was too tired to go outside and help her. I scratched my neck and closed the door, making a run for my bed. I lay there still with my eyes closed. I could hear the birds chirping, my Baba talking and my mother’s and my sister’s endless laughs. Even though it was quiet and peaceful, I was still uncomfortable. Just the thought of leaving pittsburgh gave me the chills – I couldn’t even imagine actually leaving it at some point.

I checked my phone for the exact date. Today was the day. March 18. The day that had been giving me horrors since the day I found out the news. The day I started crying just thinking about the future. Today we move to new york. A total different town – a total different place. I just didn’t want to leave my little, quiet/peaceful town, full of memories and my friends.

My baba (dad) got an amazing oppurtunity in new york. They had asked him to serve as a manager for an oil and gas company and my dad couldn’t say no, even if he tried. Working as a manager has always been one of his dreams and new york was finally full filling it. But deep down inside, I knew this wasn’t the only reason we were moving. Even though me or my parents or Hafsa never talked about it anymore, the incident that happened 2 years ago still had a big impact on our lives. And maybe moving away was the best my parents could think of, to keep me from thinking about it every now and then.

My paternal aunt and cousins used to live in new york, but 2 months ago they, too, moved to england. New york is going to be whole new adventure – from the scratch. We were leaving in 2 hours, and still, I wasn’t ready to leave my hometown.  

I went in my closet and put the last bit of accessories that were left, in my handbag. I had one last look at my empty room and then closed the door. Our house was pre-furnished when we bought it, so we didn’t have to worry about selling it or giving it to charity. The future residents will take care of the rest.

As I walked in the dining room, I saw my family already sitting down for breakfast. “I was about to call you”, my sister, Hafsa, said as she sat down. Still frustrated from all this moving hoopla, I quietly took a seat next to her and started spreading my favorite jam all over the white bread.

“Are you two done with cleaning your room? We have to leave right after breakfast”, my mom asked us both and we both nodded. She smiled and went back to her eating. My last day EVER eating on this dining table. Why was I even leaving?

                                                                                                                  

We still had 30 minutes before we started boarding. We were sitting in the waiting lounge, watching as one plane landed and another one took off. It was quite mesmerizing to actually see a plane lift off and see the wheels close.