The Underlying Pages

I turned my sweating palms into fist, moving towards the front stage of the class as the teacher called my name. I could feel the windows vibrating. I tried to take steady breaths before I cause them to shatter. As I moved further, the table started moving. Cool and calm, it's just a speech. It'll be over soon.

I tried to sooth myself. I went ahead to face the class and started reading the words from the page I was holding. My eyes were fixed at only one person. Her beautiful blue eyes calmed my nerves. Just one look at her and my world felt at peace. Everything about her gave me a new hope. From all I can see, she was different than the rest. She had the power to sooth minds without saying a word. At least she had that effect on me. Talking about different, it wasn't that I fitted in the society. How much ever I tried to pull the act, to put on a mask, I wasn't and never will be just a normal guy. The doctors called it a genetic defect. But little did they know that it put a permanent defect in my life.

I was hardly thirteen when I discovered that I was special. If that's what you could call it. My anger, my nervousness, my happiness, even a slight change in my mood caused my surroundings to change. I could move objects with just a thought running through my mind without even realizing it. Nobody knew about it except my mother who was long gone now; leaving it to me and the few unfinished pages of my diary. It was my secret keeper, locked away. As I finished delivery my essay, I climbed down, back to my bench, surprisingly followed by her amused gaze.

I was stuffing my books in my locker when I heard a sweet knowing voice besides me, "Hey."

I turned to look at her, putting a strand of her dark brown silky hair behind her ear.

"Hi." I managed to speak with a polite smile.

"That was a rather nice essay you delivered back there."

I couldn't find words to reply.

"I...I...Was just thinking if you can help me out with mine?" she said not making a direct eye contact.

I had to hold the swaying locker door tightly before I scared her away. We never really talked except for some rare gestures. I was more than exited that she initiated this talk. But I was afraid I'll have to stay away from her, to keep myself from making a fool out of me; but also to keep her away from all this mess. She was waiting eagerly for my reply. And I was just starring at her like a fool.

"Yes sure."

So much for keeping a secret. I had to mentally hit my head after that, but I couldn't regret the chance of spending time with her.

"So, five o'clock at my place?" she said chirping.

"Gladly," I replied with a smile I couldn't hide anymore.

"See ya then," she said smiling, and walked away, holding her gaze firmly to mine until she disappeared in the crowd. And now I wished with my every single breath, that I somehow had a chance to a normal life; a chance with her.

I was rubbing my palms nervously as I was waiting on her door steps, for her to open up.

"Hi." She greeted cheerfully, and I could feel my heart skip a beat, and with that the shattering of the lamp that hung besides her door.

"Shit, I'm so sorry." What have I done! I jumped back as the broken pieces of glass fell on her door front.

"Hey, Evan, why are you sorry? It's not your fault," she said half laughing. My name in her sweet voice sounded amazing. "The circuit must have been loose or something." She said still looking at me amusedly.

I put my head down embarrassed. The only loose circuit around here is in my brain.

I needed to control myself. I just couldn't so breaking stuffs whenever she's around me. I wish I could just tell her. That could make all so much easier.