December, 1953
01:56am
Tomorrow is the twenty-fifth.
I remember sitting by the Christmas tree when I was a child. I remember wanting a baseball signed by one of the New York Yankees. I had never wanted anything more in life than I wanted that baseball. . .until now.
I want more than anything to be free of this pain—of Hydra. I want to have all of my memories back; I want my life back. I don't want to be a killer. I don't want to be a heartless machine. I just want to be myself again. . .whoever that is. I don't remember what kind of man I used to be, honestly.
I remember being a soldier—a good soldier. But that doesn't mean I was a good man. Maybe I've always been a good fighter—nothing more.
I never did get that New York Yankees signed baseball.
VOUS LISEZ
Ephemeral ☇ B. Barnes
Fanfiction. . .in which his memories come and go in waves when he's not in cryo, and he writes them in notebooks to ensure he will not lose them again. #206 in Fanfiction as of 5/28/16. © savagesociety 2016
