All Hell Breaks Loose

Chapter Nine

I smile, you laugh, I look away.

I sigh, you ask me why, I say it's okay and I'm just feeling down.

Your hand on mine, I hear the words

If only love had found us first.

Our lives, they would be different, oh.

So I stand, and wait. I am just a man.

Where would we be now baby if we found each other first?

Where would we be now baby?

Someone brushed Cameron's arm so he pulled the headphones from his ear to see if anyone needed him. It was a false alarm, and so he squashed the hope that anyone might actually be talking to him.

It had been five days since Abby had her baby, and Cameron knew that something was wrong. She didn't make eye contact at him anymore unless she couldn't help it, and Zach had been avoiding him. He wanted to talk to her, to know that she was okay. To know if she still loved him.

Only now Abby was so busy that he'd hardly seen her at all, let alone been able to talk to her one-on-one. Her parents and friends had flown in the day they'd gotten out of the hospital and had been crowding the small house in the three days since. Oliver cried at all hours of the night, and when things were finally quiet it seemed like Abby was having private conversations with Zach.

Cameron had been virtually invisible for almost a week, and he wasn't sure how long he could stand it. No one seemed to know what he was doing there or why he never seemed to talk to anyone, though he'd been introduced quite a few times.

Right now Zach was on baby duty after convincing Abby she needed to nap. She'd complained that she had company she needed to entertain, but no one would hear her. She looked terrible – eyes turning black and blue from exhaustion, and everyone could see that she was still hurting from giving birth. So Zach had delicately taken Oliver from her hands and forced her into their shared bedroom. Zach really didn't have anything to do because all four grandparents had snatched the child as quickly as they could, doting on him and his fluffy head of black hair. Cameron had put the headphones in as soon as Abby had disappeared an hour ago, and this was the first time he'd taken them out.

He watched Zach stand between Glenn, Abby's step-father, and David. They were laughing about something. Cameron stood up made his way in that direction. As soon as Zach saw him coming he said, "I'm just gonna go check on Abby really quick. Be right back, and please yell if Oliver needs anything."

As he walked past Cameron, Cameron put a hand out and stopped him for a moment. "Look, can we talk? We've barely spoken since you got home from the hospital."

Zach nodded, but was looking at his shoes. Cameron sensed that something was very wrong. "Yeah, man, I'm sorry. Things have just been really crazy right now with the baby and everything. Let me just check and see how Abby's doing."

"I could check for you," Cameron offered.

Zach prodded a thumb back towards the den where all of the family and friends were converged. "Sorry, again, it's just I have to look all husband-y, you know? They'll go home in a few days." And without another word Zach walked down the hall and into his bedroom. Cameron went back to the couch and put his headphones in again.

And now I must confess that I'm a sinking ship.

I'm anchored by the weight of my heart 'cause it's filled with these feelings.

But I keep my true thoughts locked beside my heart's black box.

And it won't be found,