Lindsey and Anna sat in the house in quiet, both of them in tears, crying for what they had pushed away, why couldn't life just be simple for them?
"Daddy, is it my fault that she went?"
"No baby why would you say that?"
"Because I told mama that we could live without her, it was such a lie and now...and now...she's gone" Anna burst into a fresh set of tears
"No its, I don't know everything I suppose, some people just have to start fresh somewhere, no body is to blame, not you, not me and not your mother" Lindsey fought back his own tears
"Do you think she thinks we don't love her anymore, and do you think she still loves us?" Anna sounded quite child like
"No she knows that we love her, and she loves us to pieces honey, that's why she left, because I think she loves us to much, well to her anyway"
"Can we look for her? I just want my mommy" Once again she cried for her loss
"Yeah I'd like to, I just need to have a think about where she might be"
"Well where did she go when she was sad before I was born?" After thinking a light went off in Lindsey's head and he smiled
"Same place as you"
"Nanna?" Lindsey nodded and neither of them could get their jackets on fast enough
Driving to Phoenix didn't take to long, just like her mother had when they were searching for her, Anna fell asleep, being woken up by the bumpy track to the cemetery
Pulling up and getting out of the car they walked up the path and down to the graves, being careful not to trip as it was dark, walking up to her grandparents grave she placed a kiss onto each headstone as she always did, but getting distressed when she realized her mother was not there, her and Lindsey sitting down in front of them in case they had made it before Stevie, Anna cuddled up against her father and due to the emotional stress soon found herself asleep once more, Lindsey letting a tear fall, he was sure Stevie would come back to her parents, whispering to Barbara's headstone
"Oh mom...why couldn't you still be here? You and dad always knew how to calm me down and keep me at peace, I don't know what to do, I need you so much..." more tears fell and Lindsey was in pain "I still struggle to live without you two everyday, you kept me sane! You might have known where your daughter went too, because I was sure she would be here! I've ruined everything! I told her it was over, I told Anna this was no ones fault but it is, it's all mine! I over reacted and told her to leave, she cried and begged me, and I just told her no. How could I have done that? I was going to ask her to marry me, I had just brought a ring. We argued and she ran back to her ex husband once more, I didn't understand that it was because he had made her so dependent on him that running to anyone else terrified her, I should have tried to ask her before, but I didn't and now she's gone, and I don't know where..." Lindsey had to stop talking and just sit there, he was struggling to breath through his sobs
After calming down, Lindsey realised they had been there for a good hour, he realised that Stevie wasn't coming, he didn't know where else to look so he woke Anna and told her it was no use, they needed to go home. Getting up they both bid farewell to Stevie's parents
"Bye nanna! bye pops, I love you!" Anna spoke and started towards the car
"See you mom, I love you! and I love you too dad! If I find your Teedee I'll take good care of her" Lindsey too walked to the car and drove away
There was complete silence in the car as they drove from the cemetery, passing a beach not far away and Lindsey smiling as he remembered that was the very beach that his child sitting beside him was conceived on, focusing back on the road as Anna suddenly shrieked
