My Spiritual Journey

My Calling

When I was a little kid I saw more with my heart and less with my mind. Which makes sense because children are open to see many interpretations of the world than just one.
Sometimes kids are brought up to think of one perspective.
I kept on seeing fairies and spirits all the time when I was playing at my Uncle Nicks house or my moms best friends house. I knew something that no one in my family really knew. But because of that I told myself to keep quiet about it.
When I heard we were moving into a house away from the city and into farm life I was so happy.
It was until I realized there was a cemetery across my house.
Every sense heightened and I began seeing angry spirits. A lot of them were young adults.
My Grandpa and I visited the gravesite because he wanted to pay his respects to the people at grave sights when he was alive. He was shocked to find a lot of people who were young died and were buried there...
I found my nightmares consist of people chasing me. I had a nightlight given to me to keep some light in my room. I then used sound from songs and eventually I could sleep again.
If it wasn't spirits that were bothering me it was an abusive caretaker.
My parents didn't know how abusive she was.
Not meaning to go off on a tangent but I will make it quick.
When you put your kids in the hands of someone else it goes without saying that they believe and trust the person to treat them with respect. However, when kids are in a young age range and being abused I will tell you for a fact that they will not tell the parents.
Especially when the caretaker tell them the abusive behavior is normal.
If you're a parent or thinking about being a parent and reading this I ask you to please make sure your kid knows the difference what is normal behavior and abusive behavior.
So your kid wont have to deal with what I have to cope with now.
And if the person is close to you and you find out their abusing your kid. Cut them off like my mom did.
Make them buy an apartment and let them know that they should've respected your children.
My mom was so upset we didn't tell her but thats because we were abused as kids and say what you want about spanking your kids.
If your kid will let you grab them and let you to spank their ass--whats make them feel comfortable telling you that their babysitter pulled them by the back of the collar of their shirt and flung them to the ground of a parking lot from their set in the car and that's why their mouth is bleeding??? Huh? They are not gonna tell you that. They are gonna tell you what the babysitter told them to say, "I fell Daddy/Mommy."
I know its a big jump but as a parent I think its important for you kid to know boundaries. If spanking your kid is okay but their caretaker throwing coat hanger is not then please explain the difference to them. One is done for the sake of respect and one is done for degrading feelings.
Sorry...really went off a tangent there but I felt it was important.
Back on the subject in hand. My calling.
In ways my abuse kept me silent about a lot of things and 'the perfect little girl' at the time was there so I wouldn't get hurt but I was still treated like a rag doll.

One night I shut off the music in my room and closed my eyes.

"I am sick of this behavior from you DeWaine!" my mother called.
I could hear them fighting and I opened my eyes.
I couldn't sleep because my mom was yelling at my dad and I didn't know what was happening.
I heard the door open as my mother yelled.
"I should have never married you!"
When she walked downstairs and I heard the silence tears poured from my eyes.
I cried myself to sleep again but this time I was crying about everything that had happened until that point.
My eyes opened to a dream where the wind blew and the curtains were trying to pull from the window frame. I walked up to my window and saw a bright light and a woman who I knew to be a Goddess of sorts asked me to take her hand.
I climbed out of the window and jumped for her hand.
I was in the skies and she told me there were shadow demons and I could transform into anything I wanted to defeat them. I went through the dream train met people I thought I knew but were not actually friendly as I suspected. I traveled through strange worlds and was a mermaid in one and a tiger in another. By the crack of dawn I was carried down back into my bedroom and she placed me back in the bed and told me. "Anytime you need adventure...let me know."
Her voice was very hushed and whisper like and I shut my eyes and opened to the twitter of birds outside my window. I wanted to fall asleep again to the same dream. But it was always different where she took me and that began a life long friendship with my spirit guide.