We made a promise on the day we met "We'll meet again."
And we did.
On our second meeting we made another promise "I'll call you when I get home."
And you did.
And when you called me we spoke for hours about nothing in particular, and as you hung up you made another promise "I'll text you when I wake up."
And you did.
And when you texted me you plastered the end with seemingly unrelated emoticons, you told me that you had work and you really didn't want to go but I managed to convince you to go and before you left you promised "When I get off work I'll text you and we will go get coffee in the shop where we met."
And we did.
And I swear I've never enjoyed coffee as much as I did that day, sat on the opposite side of the table from you, in a cozy little coffee shop, fingers interlocked over the table and the beautiful sound of your laugh filling my ears. That day I realised that I wanted to be able to do this whenever, and on that day I promised you "This will happen again but next time, I'm paying" and that made you laugh your amazing laugh.
But it did.
Months passed before we had the chance but I kept my word, we went in and I bought you coffee and we sat in the corner, in the same seats we had sat in on all the previous occasions that we'd been in there. That day I confessed that I liked you as more than a friend, and to my delight you told me that you felt the same. On that day you made me promise "This isn't all some sort of cruel joke right? "
And it wasn't.
I loved you with all my heart and possibly more. The months that followed were the happiest I'd had since I was a kid, numb to the pain of the world, melting under your touch, the sound of your laugh ringing in my ears clear as day, the sound of your voice smooth as silk. The nights we spent together just talking until the early hours of the morning before falling asleep in eachother's arms and the room fading into the sound of steady breathing. That's why when your mother called me to say that you were in the hospital through my tears I made you promise "Don't give up on me just yet."
And you didn't.
You fought with all your strength, you were frail and the struggle was so hard on you that the doctors said that if you didn't let up soon then nothing would work. During the time you were in the hospital you didn't stop smiling, your smiling face contrasted the sadness and sickness in your eyes and I wondered how you did it. How did you never give up? Every time I had to leave I would always promise "Ill be back. I love you."
But I couldn't.
I was too late. I was just finishing work when I got the call. The hospital had called your mother to tell her that you hadn't made it. You'd passed on in your sleep. She told me in a grief-struck voice and I shut down. I walked like a machine back to our apartment, the second I stepped through the door and smelled your still lingering scent and saw all your stuff I broke down. I cried until i couldn't cry anymore and then I felt nothingness. Like there was some kind of void inside me. But I made a promise to myself "I will love you eternally."
And I will.
And that is why I am here now, 2 months after you died to tell you just how much I love you. I love you more than you will ever get to know, I love you with my entire being and I haven't been able to functon since it happened. I don't think I'll ever get over it. And that is why now as I'm sitting on the edge of our apartment building I shall make us one final promise
"We WILL meet again, Chanyeol, I promise you."
And with those words he fell.
