Post-Regression Progression

Prologue Part 1: The Council

Humanity sat at the council table with the other Entities of Earth. They were having one of their quarterly meetings in Time's office, in Greenwich, England. Time sat at the head of the long, polished, oak table, with his favourite, antique, grandfather clock looming over his head, staring down at the rest of the Council.

The Council of Earth had been present from the very beginnings of the planet. Time was the first to come into existence, then came Nature, then Animal. Animal had originally presided over humans, too, but they became too populous for him to keep in check among all of the other creatures in the animal kingdom. So in came Humanity. He'd never been liked very well by Animal, but the feeling was mutual, so that was alright.

On either side of Time, perpendicular to him,  the nature twins twins sat on the lengths of the table, facing each other. There was Animal, the male, and Nature, the beautiful female. Animal had a lion skin coat draped over his massive, ox-like shoulders. He had the torso of a meerkat, and the arms and legs of a wolf. Although his body could be quite terrifying, his head was by far the freakiest.

Animal's head was actually very confusing for the eyes. Looking at him from the front, you'd think, "oh, that's kind of weird, that's the head of a lion, but you know, he's kind of sketchy in the first place anyway, so that's chill." But, should you look at him from basically any other angle whatsoever, you'd internally (or externally) scream "HOLY FRICK FRACK SNICK SNACK THAT THING'S HEAD IS TERRIFYING I'M GOING TO GO JUMP OFF A BRIDGE I AM SO DONE WITH LIFE." (That was Humanity's reaction when he first saw Animal's head.) It was as if his creator had decided to let a five year old put a whole bunch of Spider-Man stickers on Animal's pre-life head, and then turned those Spider-Man stickers into eyes. Then, he gave the five year old a set of acrylic paints, and every different colour painted on the pre-life head became the face of a different fish. He had some Cod, Bass, Sunfish, Tuna, Sturgeon, and about five different sturgeon faces (the five year old liked green). And, just for good measure, the five year old had dumped the container of pink paint on the top of the head, resulting in several, 5 foot long, octopus tentacles sprouting out of the top of his head.

The real question was, how was Animal related in any way to his twin sister, Nature. Her fair skin looked beautiful with her silky, brown hair, partially pulled back into two braids ending with a ponytail. She was by far the most beautiful being in existence, and Humanity rather enjoyed being in her presence. The only problem was that she always seemed to be around her brother, who managed to almost ruin the experience for Humanity every time. There was no romantic competition for Nature within the council, mostly because none of the males were attractive enough to actually offer any competition. She was simply out of their leagues. There was Time; powerful, but extremely old with a long, white beard; there was Animal, who's unattractiveness has already been explained; and then there was Humanity; simply an average looking human, nothing really special about him. Compared to the other two, he was pretty good, but overall, he was no Ryan Gosling.

"Let the Council begin," Time announced, smacking a gavel on the table (where did he get these things?) "as usual, Animal will give the first update, then Nature, then Humanity. Animal, you may speak."

"Thank you, Time," Animal began, "I know it is custom to begin with the good news, but there isn't any good news worth mentioning. On the contrary, we've got all kinds of problems to talk about. We have global warming, killing penguins and polar bears and more, over-logging in the Amazon that's killing tropical animals, overfishing in the oceans, urbanization of shorelines killing coral reefs and all the fish in them, and a whole bunch of other stuff that I won't even get into. Pop quiz, newbie, how do you think most of these problems came about?"

"We've already talked about this, Animal. Humans are already raising awareness and taking preventative measures in order to keep as many species and ecosystems intact as possible. And would you please stop calling me Newbie? I've been here since before the Bubonic Plague, because you couldn't handle the humans. Which reminds me, you've done your share of killing, too. Let's see, one of the greatest sicknesses of all time was spread by fleas and rats; malaria and the Zika Virus are still running rampant from mosquitos, who are doing quite well, I might add; and there are all kinds of other animal-related deaths in history."

"Yeah but I listed more things so I'm better," Animal argued like a 5-year-old, "also I'm older so ha."

"Anyway," Time interrupted the argument, gesturing to Nature, "what do you have to say in this?"

Nature, clearly caught off guard by the question, just opened her eyes wide and pointed to Animal, "what he said!"

"...well, like, what he said, but with plants."

Time sighed, "it is evident that humanity, as a race, is becoming a bigger problem than we originally had anticipated. I believe there is only one solution to this problem. Nature, Animal, you know what to do."

Suddenly, vines were coming out out of Nature's arms and wrapping around Humanity. Animal roared and his tentacles started swirling around faster and faster. Humanity felt a dizzying sensation, and his whole body felt tingly.

Time stood up, "The Council of Earth has decreed that humanity be removed from existence due to extensive problems. Humanity, may you rest in peace.

Humanity felt a fading sensation, felt his consciousness slipping away from him, but he could do nothing to stop it. He heard Animal say something, but he couldn't make sense of the words.

His vision turned black.