Like a Knife

Part 1

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Grey's Anatomy or any of the characters/lines used in this story. This is strictly for fictional purposes only.



Cause today
You walked out of my life


Our redo of our thirty day separation period was finally over. Officially. I couldn't be happier about this, although we technically cheated last night. But oh was it wonderful. I glance over at Callie with a smile and I can't think but how happy I am to be married to such a miraculous and loving woman. I can't imagine my life without her.

"Life without you terrifies me. And the world is just making less and less sense, and, like I don't know what I'm doing at work anymore, but the thing I need is my anchor. It's you."

I pause momentarily and look at Callie.

"I need you. And you're the only thing that I will ever need. And I'm so glad that this break is over."

I finish and look up to meet Callie's eyes once more only to see she had begun to get teary eyed.


Our days together were always my favorite. Spending time with her was joyous and wonderful. Every time I caught a glimpse of her in the halls at work, my heart would flutter. The night I kissed her in the bar bathroom I knew we would end up together. Sure, some might think that is a little too soon to know something so absolute like that, but I just knew.

I believe the first moment I realized how in love with Callie I truly was, was the night we danced around for hours. The first time I admitted I loved Callie was when her father was in town. That was a time a to remember.

There is a lot in life to love, but loving another person so unconditionally is an absolute treasure. It's so rare to find a love like that anymore, but I know that that is the love we share; the unconditional type.

My favorite memory of us together is the night we were both off call, and it was a rare occurrence for this to happen with us. We decided we would take a walk around the park close to our apartment since it was warmer out. The stars were shining more bright than usual that night, and the sparks in her eye's were too. Our hands were joined the entire walk, and we would pause every now and then to quickly peck the other on the lips. We finally found a bench and sat down on it, Callie pulling me onto her lap.

I remember the giggle that escaped through my lipstick covered lips. It was a singsong sound according to Callie. She also mentioned later that night that my laugh was one of her favorite sounds. I found this endearing, but blushed at the comment, burying my face in the crevice of her neck and inhaling the scent that was so Calliope.

We finally returned home at around nine that night and decided to order in pizza. Let's just say I think we embarrassed the pizza delivery guy that night when we opened the door to pay for it. He may have saw just a little too much.

I smile to myself at the last memory. That night was definitely one I would never forget.

Callie starting to speak is what brought me out of my memories and back to the reality we are in right now.

"The last thirty days have taught me so much. And all I wanted when we first came here, was to know that we would leave together, but from the minute I sat down I could feel it. I felt like I was gonna be suffocated."

Callie begins to cry some more and my heart is breaking at what is happening.

"The last several weeks I have laughed more, I have done more, I have enjoyed myself more than... and I finally feel free. And by being free, I can see now that constantly trying to fix us is the thing that's been killing me slowly. And I don't want to do it anymore."

"I love you." I say to her.

"You do?"

"Yeah," I reply with a smile.
"I love you too," she replies happily.

That night was fun and filled with love. We were always fun and loving.

"I don't want to fix it or fix us anymore. Maybe instead of loving you so hard, I should... I should be myself for a while."

"Promise me you won't let them take my leg. Promise me!" I knew now, months later, that this was a promise I shouldn't have asked Callie to keep. For God's sake, she only cut it off so I would live! I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for her! Sofia wouldn't have her mama or her daddy around, and she needed at least me or Mark to survive for her, and Callie cutting off my leg was in the best interest for myself and for our daughter. 

I love her and I'm so glad she decided to repair the relationship back to what it was before we had to amputate.

"I should love me. And you should love you, and together we can love Sofia rather than..."

Sofia. Sofia was the most precious baby I had ever laid eyes upon. I regretted the way she had come into this world, it was partly my fault, but she was beautiful just like her mother if I must say so myself. She had the cutest little cheeks and the blackest hair. She was beautiful. She was mine and Callie's daughter.

Watching her grow has been the greatest blessing there is. She is such a happy child, but I know she knows when Callie and I fight. I regret that she has to be put in the middle of it all, especially in times like these where we can't figure anything out.

"I want so much for you Arizona. For both of us. So much more than this."

This is the life I never imagined. I imagined we would always be together. I imagined us having more beautiful children so Sofia would have a little army of siblings. I imagined we would have so many children on our wedding day.

That was a beautiful day too. Quite possibly my favorite. Calliope looked so stunning in her wedding dress and I couldn't wait to get it off her later that night. God, that was the most perfect night as well. It was more than that. It was indescribable.

"More than being stuck with someone who feels stuck. I want you to feel free, too."

"How can I feel stuck if I'm with you?" I want to shout at her. I feel anything BUT stuck when I'm with her. She makes me feel whole, makes me feel complete.

We sit and stare at each other for a while, all the while the thunder is clapping in the distance outside. And before long, she is gone.

Today, Calliope Iphegenia Torres walked out of my life.

"And I'm afraid I'll never get her back." My subconscious says.