Secondhand Girlfriend

.15

It's so hard to say goodbye, to yesterday.

I pause the song on my phone, no longer able to listen to it, and try not to think about anything I've done in the past week. Between getting arrested and kissing someone's fianceé, I think my week has been pretty eventful. Now I'm staring at the clock on the wall of the record store, and hope that the next hour passes by quickly. It's one of those days where we don't get much traffic, so when someone comes in it surprises me a bit.

Standing up straight from the counter, my eyes follow the dark skinned woman as she moves about the store. After a good minute, I avert my gaze from her to the CD stack that has been haphazardly placed on the counter. I begin to pick them up so I can put them away, but one falls to the ground, emitting a loud clattering sound as it hits the tiled floor. This causes the woman to jump in shock as she turns around to see what had caused the noise. Our eyes meet when she pivots herself in my direction, and I instantly recognise her shining jade irises.

"Lydia," I query, although I already know the answer.

Furrowing her eyebrows together then opening her eyes wide, she runs over to me when she finally realises who I am.

"Kieran, you're so big now," she exclaims, squeezing me tight around the waist.

"You're not that much older than me! Just because you have kid doesn't mean anything."

We both laugh at this, and I take a moment to drink in all of her. Now that I've gotten taller, I notice that she is shorter than I remember her to be. But she still has that same glint of happiness in her eyes, with a dazzling smile to match. I now also remember the small crush I had on her so long ago, she was just as stunning then as she is now.

"What brings you by," I ask, finally taking the CDs to their proper spots.

"I'm in this store cause I heard it's the best in town, I'm in town because I miss my family," she shrugs, playing with the ring on her middle finger.

Averting my eyes, I try not to let pity rise in me, I don't like when people pity me so why do it to someone else. When she says her family, she really means Wyatt's family; her family wanted nothing to do with her once she got pregnant. Her pregnancy effectively ruined her reputation, her college fund, and her relationship with her parents. The Thurgoods were the closet thing she had to family, and I know they still call to check up on her every once in awhile. She still stays out in Greenwich, has her own apartment and things, but every blue moon she decided to come visit. This is my first time seeing her since the baby was born, I was thirteen then and Angel is five now.

"Have you talked to Maurice lately, I heard he's here as well," Lydia asks, still playing with that ring.

"Saw 'em yesterday, he wasn't too thrilled to see me though," I frown, letting my eyes drift to the clock.

"Why not, aren't you guys close?"

"Not like we used to be, I unknowingly dated his ex, which then became my ex, and is now his fianceé."

The word tastes like acid on my tongue, fianceé, and I have to bite my tongue to keep from spitting. I'm a coward when it comes to love, never have I put myself out there like I did with Lisanna, and then I just gave her up. When it comes to fighting, I'm always looking for one or doing it over stupid things, but when it comes down to the person I love, I chicken out. Consistently telling myself that she never belonged to me, that she was and always will be his, but now I know better. Now I know she truly is mine to have, because you wouldn't kiss someone you don't love like it's the last time you see them again.

"Lisanna, am I right, the sixteen year old girl he fell in love with," her voice is forlorn as she speaks, and I can just hear the pain.

"You still love him," I say, my words a statement rather than a question.