Living With Jared Padalecki

4/ numb

"You have like, no food," Mason grumbles, looking through the cupboards. I ignore her, still feeling upset about my mom. I have refused to talk about it with Mason and Gen and anyone else. I'm not even completely sure how I feel about everything yet. "Hey, let's go to Arby's." She knows that Arby's is my favorite place to eat plus there is free wifi there. She grabs my hand and pulls me up. "Come on, come on, come on." I hesitate before putting my shoes on.

"Gen!" Mason yells through the house. "Front and center!" She can tell I'm upset because usually I would laugh at something like this, but this time I don't even smile. "We're going to Arby's, you want to come?" Gen shrugs a little.

"Sure," she says, putting on a pair of black boots she brought. I let Mason drive us there because I'm feeling tired. "Are you okay, Charlie?" Gen asks as we get out of the car. I just nod, not wanting to open up to anyone at the moment. I mean, I never want to open up to anyone about anything, but this particular case is a bit worse.

We grab the corner table, the one that Mason and I always get when we come here. Gen sits down next to Mason and I sit across from them. The waiter immediately comes over to us, handing Gen a menu.

"The usual, ladies?" He asks. He is a friend of Mason's older broker and he knows us very well. Every time we come in here we order the same thing, so he knows what to get us already. Mason and I nod our heads and Gen orders her food.

"Charlie, are you sure you're okay?" Mason asks. Her and Gen each give me a weird look. I scoff.

"I told you, I'm fine," I say, getting annoyed with the constant prodding. "I'm gonna go to the bathroom quick, okay?" I get up from my seat, not waiting for them to respond.

God, I wish they would stop asking me about how I'm feeling. Why does it matter how I feel? It never has before.

As I step into the small pathway that leads to the restroom, I feel a hand grab my arm. I'm caught off guard when the strange boy pulls me through the door and outside, causing me to lose my balance and nearly fall over. "What the hell, man?!?" I say, frustrated. I try to regain my balance as I look up at the guy who pulled me out here.

"Sorry about that," he mumbles. I recognize him as Jonas, one of the senior jocks, in the grade above me. "I heard you were leaving tomorrow." I tilt my head to the side a little and narrow my eyes at him.

"Did you pull me out here to tell me something important, or...???" I question. He clears his throat.

"I thought since this is your last night here, maybe you'd want to come to a party— at my house, tonight." I raised my eyebrows, shocked out of my mind. He always throws parties, but usually he only invited seniors and some of his close friends. I'm not a senior, or one of his close friends, so why would he invite me? Why would he even care that I'm leaving tomorrow? "You can bring a friend," Jonas says, noticing that I haven't said anything for a while.

"Uh, I don't know, Jonas," I start. "I got an early flight in the morning and I'm not really a party person." I felt kind of bad for saying no, though I know I shouldn't, because he probably doesn't really care if I go or not. He probably just invited me to be nice.

"Okay, I understand," he says in a monotone voice. "But if you change your mind, it starts at seven thirty." Jonas walks away from me, leaving me feeling a bit shocked.

-

"You said no?!?" Mason nearly yells as we step into my room. I motion for her to shut up, because Gen is already sleeping downstairs. She knows we have to get up at five thirty, so she went to sleep already. I didn't want Mason to yell so loud that she wakes up Gen. "But, Charlie, Jonas throws the best parties ever! We have to go!"

"I'm not going to a stupid party, okay? I don't want to." She puts her hands up in surrender.

"Okay, okay! Fine." She stops talking and sits on my bed. She looks around, with a kind of sad look on her face. I feel bad because I know how much she loves going to parties and socializing. I sigh deeply and loudly in frustration, knowing that I will go because she wants to go.

Mason understand that my deep sigh translates to 'fine'. She jumps up off of the bed and hugs me tightly. I just stay frozen in my place, not bothering to hug her back. She pulls away, nearly sprinting to my closet.

"It starts in like a half hour!" She exclaims, suddenly urgent. "Here, you have to wear this! You look amazing in it." She hands me a dark blue dress out of my closet. I put on a smile, pretending to be happy and enjoying this. "I'm gonna go home and get dressed. I'll be back in a half hour, then we'll go, okay?" I nod a little. She opens my room door and starts to step out, but then turns back to me, a huge grin on her face.

"We're going to a senior party!!!" She nearly shrieks, before leaving my room and rushing home to get ready for the party.

-

Okay, if you are not a party person, and you have anxiety, I suggest you do not go to a senior party with alcohol.

Mason and I have been here for about forty five minutes. I lost her fifteen minutes ago. Someone offered me a drink, and I took it, not really caring what it was. Some of the senior bitches were giving Mason and I a hard time when we first arrived, saying that we should not be here and that Jonas would not invite girls like us to his party. Mason crossed her arms and asked her what she meant by that. The senior replied, saying that Jonas would never invite uninteresting tomboy-ish juniors to his party.

I guess I didn't take that to well, because all the alcohol that I've consumed in the past fifteen minutes is really starting to take its toll on me. I've never drank before, or smoked, or anything. Tonight I just feel like shit and I really want to go home. But I don't want to leave Mason here by herself.

"Charlie?" I hear a voice say. I pick my head up from the counter and see Jonas standing there. He looks at me with wide eyes, spotting the cup of alcohol in my hand and my probably blood shot eyes. He sighs and sits down across from me. "Look, I feel kind of bad saying this, because I know you are upset, but you are really bringing the party down." I raise my eyebrows.

"Bringing the... no one even knows I exist," I slur, chuckling dryly. He keeps that rude serious face, so I talk again. "I'm going when Mason wants to." He sighs in frustration and gets up, walking away from me.

"Oh, my god," I hear Mason say. I don't say anything, just take another drink of whatever was in my cup. Mason rips it out of my hand, spilling some on me in the process. I look up at her in confusion. "What the hell are you doing?" She says loudly, but not loud enough for anyone around us to hear. Her eyebrows are lowered and her eyes are a bit wide. I just shrug.

"Come on, let's go," she says, suddenly, pulling me up out of my seat. I can't find the energy to argue with her. She basically pulls me out of the house and onto the front lawn, shutting the front door behind her. She releases the grip on my arm and turns to face me, looking pissed as hell.

"What the hell do you think you're doing, Charlie?" She yells, now that no one can hear us. I don't answer, just lean against the rail by the steps as I try to stay standing. I don't really care how mad she is, this is the first time in forever I haven't felt anything, nothing but completely numb.

My eyelids become droopy and they fall, along with my legs. I fall slowly, so Mason has time to reach forward and grab me before I crash to the ground. "Whatever. Let's go home," she says, helping me into the passenger seat of my truck. I notice her staring at me, but I don't say anything.

"You're unbelievable," she says under her breath. I watch the trees out the window as they pass by us.

"Why, thank you," I say, my voice containing no emotion in it.

"I really thought you were going to have fun tonight," she says. "But no, instead you drink away your— your pain or whatever." My eyelids become heavy and eventually I fall asleep right in the passenger seat, as Mason continues to ramble on.