Almost A Year

Chapters 1-5

Chapter One

"You stupid idiot! Answer the bloody call!" I'm desperate. Even as I run out the front door, struggling to put my shoes on properly, I dial for my younger sister again on my mobile phone.

Without looking around me, I know there are people watching me, letting out quiet giggles and chuckles as they notice my attire. I'm still in my pyjamas, my teddy bear onesie to be precise, but I don't care. I can't. Because as much as this would have normally thrown me straight back to confining myself in my room for a few months straight, I can't do that right now. My sister's worth way more than that.

So, I yell for Mum to lock the door, hop on my bike and just ride. I know where she is. It's not too far from home but I don't trust my legs to take me there fast enough. I curse myself for not noticing sooner. It was so obvious. Why didn't anyone else notice something was strange? What if I hadn't looked at her Instagram?

I don't even look at it normally. Why would I torture myself with photos my sister takes of the outside world and her friends on a regular basis? It's not like she's a great photographer nor are her friends that appealing. Looking at her photos make me feel sick. It reminds me too much of the life I used to live. The life she wants me to live.

In fact, she started up her Instagram account for that very reason. She wanted me to see everything. She couldn't understand the reason why I chose to take leave from university a year ago and locked myself up in my room for months on end. She hated that I shut myself from everyone, including her, but I couldn't help it. It was all I could do to stop from killing myself. The pressure of the world was too much. I was too aware of everything, everyone – all the sorrow and all the pain. I wanted to help people, someone, anyone but no one noticed me... And it wasn't like I could simply leave and go somewhere no one knew me, but maybe that would have been better.

Sometimes, I think that she started drinking and taking drugs because of me, because of how I am now. I've asked her before but she never really gave me a proper answer. She always shrugged it off like it didn't matter and yet, right now, I'm sure part of the reason why she's about to jump off the roof of her school building is because of me.

"Sarah! Don't you dare jump down here! I swear, you stupid girl!" I shout, ditching my bike by the entrance, and run as fast as I can into the building and up the stairs, straight to the roof.

When I shove the roof door open, she cries out loudly, "Why are you here?"

She's standing on the ledge but her legs are shaking. There's no way she really wants to die.

"Get down from there right now," I say calmly and slowly walk over to her. I notice she's breathing as heavily as I am, like she was just running but I know she wasn't. How long has she been standing here for? How long did it take for her to finally get the courage to step up onto that ledge?

"I can't." She's really crying now. She can't get down because she's too afraid. She can't go forward and she can't go backward. She's stuck, just like I was a year ago, just like I was not even 10 minutes ago, just like I am right now... But I came out to save her, so I have to move forward.

"Don't move, Sarah. I'm going to wrap my arms around your waist and pull you down with me. We're going to fall."

"Wait, what-" I don't wait to answer her. Instead, I quickly wrap my arms around her waist and we fall.

With a quick twist, our right sides are soon colliding with the floor of the roof.

"Ow!" Sarah yelps angrily, "What did you do that for?? Couldn't you have just helped me step down instead?!"