I walked into the house and set my purse down on the coffee table. "Carter! Come here this instant! I got a call from the school saying you skipped!" I looked in the kitchen and then up in his room to see if he was there. "Where is he?" I mumbled. I suddenly got a bad feeling in my stomach. I checked every room in the house before going down to the basement. "Carter?" I called as I walked down the steps. Once I was down there I looked around before going into my old office. "CARTER, NO!" I screamed when I saw him in a pool of his own blood. I ran over to him and said, "Carter, baby, please wake up." I got my phone out of my pocket and called an ambulance while crying hysterically. "My baby, I'm so sorry," I cried as I held him. I looked up at the desk and saw a note.
I read the note and saw the first part was for me. "This is all my fault," I whispered. Once I read all of it and saw the last line, I held my son in my arms and cried.
"I'm sorry I broke us."
"You didn't break us. We broke you," I mumbled as I hugged him tightly. The ambulance came and they rushed down here. They took Carter away from me. They took my baby that I killed away.
"Mam, your son apparently shot himself," the one paramedic said. I knew that. I just couldn't believe it. How could I have done this?
I walked upstairs to call my husband. "Honey, what's wrong?!"
"Come home, now. . ." I said and hung up. I fell to the ground and wrapped my arms around my self. "NO! NO, PLEASE COME BACK! I'M SO SORRY! I DIDN'T MEAN IT!" I screamed. The paramedics were still here to clean up the mess and they just let me cry.
* * *
I ran out to my car and sped home to my house. When I saw an ambulance there the bad feeling grew. I pulled into the drive way and got out of my car. Everything went in slow motion as I walked inside. I saw them carrying a body bag out and my heart stopped. I heard my wife screaming from the living room and ran to her. "What happened?!" I asked and she looked up at me.
"Carter. . .Carter shot himself," she whispered.
"No. . .NO! TELL ME IT ISN'T TRUE!" I screamed and she just held up a note. I took it and read it over. Each word I read, the more I started to cry. How could I have done this to my son? My little boy is gone forever because of me. I fell to my knees and hugged my wife tightly. We could've just accepted him. We could've ignored the fact and let him be who he was. It took his death to make us realize that. The last line is what got to me the most.
"I'm sorry I broke us."
He didn't break us. . .if anything we broke him.
* * *
As I walked home from school and saw an ambulance at our house. I started running and ran inside the house. "MOM?!" I yelled and saw my parents crying and holding each other on the ground.
"Honey, come here," Mom whispered. I sat down on the floor next to them and she took a deep breath. "Carter shot himself," she said and I felt everything stop.
"That's- .that's not possible," I whispered and started crying. Dad held out a note and I took it. I started reading it and felt the guilt get bigger and bigger with each line. "I killed him. . ."
"Honey, no, it wasn't just you. We all made the mistakes," Dad said.
"WHY COULDN'T HAVE WE JUST ACCEPTED HIM?! THIS IS OUR FAULT! HIS DEATH IS ON OUR HANDS!" I screamed and started crying hysterically. The last line just killed me inside.
"I'm sorry I broke us."
At least I know how he felt ever since he came out now. Dead inside. What have we done? I killed my little brother. I'm so sorry, Carter. We deserve this pain you gave us. That we made you give us. We do love you. We just didn't show it.
I joined my family in the hug and stayed there. We broke him. . .and there's no fixing it.
*Sorry it's so bad. I'll rewrite it if you want. I'm here for all of you, okay? Thanks for reading, don't forget to comment and vote. Love you all! Bye!"
