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Have I really done this for the past two years without hesitation? I can barely clothe myself in the morning after a sleepless night. Dread sucks at my bones.Haymitch, a silver flask bulging in one pocket, meets me at the elevator. I don't speak. If I open my mouth, I'm afraid I'll bring up the rest of my dinner.Peeta with his bandaged hands, facing the Careers in the arena today. Peeta, the baker's son, with no training except the last few days. Peeta, my little brother, dying for entertainment in some game."Stop thinking about it," Haymitch says, and my neck snaps to look at him."You'll just drive yourself crazy," he says, "and Peeta and Katniss need all of your focus right now."He's right. I can't lose it now, not when they need me the most.The ride to the Mentor's Booth is shorter than normal. I wonder briefly where Peeta and Katniss are being taken right now as we step up. Another elevator takes us to the top floor as usual. When I step out, Avoxes offer me hors d'oeuvres and champagne. I refuse both.Finnick and Johanna are already seated, watching Caesar entertain the Capitol on a computer screen. Haymitch leaves to greet Chaff as always, and I take a seat with them."Been a while," is Johanna's only greeting to me."Nice to see you too." My voice croaks out, and I cough. Finnick looks at me in concern."Rough night?" he asks softly, handing me a glass full of water."You have no idea," I answer, taking a sip. I look around at the other mentors. I'm not friends with any of them except Haymitch, and maybe Chaff when he's not drunk and trying to kiss me. I have no hesitation about killing their tributes.No…that's not true. I always feel pain when a tribute dies, a child forced into the arena. Especially when it's Johanna or Finnick's tribute."Finnick told me Peeta Mellark was your friend," Johanna said. "How're we getting him home?"I widen my eyes at her. "What?""Piper, we're going to get him back for you," Finnick says."No, I won't let you sacrifice four lives for me," I say."If only one person is going to win, it might as well be him," Johanna says. "My tributes won't last three hours in the arena. Anyway, you know Snow did this to hurt you. Let's get some sweet revenge.""I can't.""Why not?" Finnick asks."I can't leave Katniss to die," I say."Why, because he said he loves her? That was such an obvious ploy!" Johanna says, her arms crossed."It wasn't," I say quietly. "He was telling the truth. If I let her die, he'll never forgive me."Finnick takes one of my hands in his. "What do you want us to do?""Let's just see if they survive the bloodbath first," I answer. As I speak, the screens go black."Ladies and gentlemen, let the seventy-fourth Hunger Games begin!" Claudius Flickerman shouts and the screens turn on in a dazzling flare of light.I jump to my feet without thinking, finding Peeta in the lineup. There he is! He's sandwiched between two much smaller tributes, weaker. Good. And where's Katniss?She's five people down from him, the expression on her face one of intense thought."She's thinking of running," Haymitch says, appearing on my left."She better not," I say. "The one piece of advice we gave them was –"The gong sounds and Katniss hesitates, then runs for the Cornucopia. Haymitch swears. Peeta is doing the same as her."What the hell are they doing?" I hiss.Katniss scoops up a sheet of plastic and a loaf of bread before heading for a backpack. The Careers are ahead of her, already killing their way through the weaker tributes.The camera zooms in on Peeta scooping up a spear near the Cornucopia. He turns and I see a boy from District 2 wrestling with the District 6 boy. Peeta's eyes grow sad, and he lifts the spear. It soars through the air to hit the boy on the shoulder. The tribute from District 2, Cato, I think his name is, finishes the boy off with a thrust of his spear. It happens so quickly I don't have time to be shocked."First and second deaths!" Claudius shouts, and the camera shows a girl with a brace of knives advancing on Katniss, who's been sprayed with blood from the body of a boy I don't recognize.Run, Katniss.She listens and turns, fleeing into the thick woods. The girl throws a knife, but it lodges in the bright orange backpack Katniss now wears.I search for Peeta as the cameras pan away from her. He has regained his spear, back to back with the boy from District 2, who is ruthless."What just happened?" I ask Haymitch."I'd say our Peeta just made an alliance with the Careers," Haymitch says, looking concerned.I don't watch the rest of the bloodbath. I can't sit and stare at the blood.When it's all over, late afternoon in both the Capitol and the arena, the cannons ring out. There are eleven. Nearly half the tributes gone on day one. Both of Johanna's. One of Finnick's. Peeta and Katniss still live.The cameras switch between tributes. Katniss is making good time, but I see no water sources around her. Most of the other tributes have also taken refuge in the woods. Peeta has definitely made an alliance with some of the Careers: the two from District 1 and District 2, and Finnick' s remaining female tribute.It begins getting dark. Some of the mentors are leaving to sleep, but I keep my eyes glued to the screens."I'm off to bed," Johanna says. "See you in the morning." She leaves me and Finnick to watch.The anthem starts, and I watch as the tributes all die again onscreen. Cato, the boy from District 2, is good with a sword. His partner Clove is the one who attacked Katniss with knives. The other two Careers are equally adept. Those four killed the majority of the other tributes, with Finnick's taking down a couple as well.Hours pass. The Careers and Peeta begin hunting, with flashlights and torches and their shiny weapons. Katniss has climbed into a tree for the night, fastening herself on the branch. She's smart, good at surviving. She set a couple of snares, but she still hasn't found water.Hours pass. Finnick dozes off on my left. Haymitch is as alert as ever on my right. No action has happened for a while yet. I wonder if the Capitolians sleep during the Games or if they have some drug that keeps them awake for the entire thing. There will be no drugs for me, nothing to help me stay awake through this ordeal.I don't know if I can do it.There's a flicker of light on the dark screens. A girl, younger than Peeta, lights a small fire. I think she's close to Katniss from the way Katniss's eyes flare to life in sudden anxiety. How could this girl be stupid enough to build a fire?A couple hours pass with nothing, no sign of her being seen. I know Katniss is near her now, only twenty or so feet away, because she's muttering to herself and the cameras have shown the distance. But I think the girl, and Katniss with her, have escaped unharmed as the first echoes of dawn peek over the horizon.Then the cameras switch to show the Careers and Peeta, hunting like hyenas through the trees, weapons drawn. They're onto the girl before she can react, pinning her down as she struggles. There's an agonized scream as the boy from District 2 plunges his sword into her chest, then she goes still.There's no cannon, but giddy on success the Careers don't notice, whooping, "Twelve down, eleven to go!". I don't miss the slightly sick look on Peeta's face as he looks at the girl. They search her for supplies, find nothing, and move on."Better clear out so they can get the body before it starts stinking," the boy from District 2 says, and the group continues on.Katniss's face becomes afraid, and she freezes in her sleeping bag. It's still dark, but once sun rises she'll be an easy target. And the Careers have stopped in her clearing."Shouldn't we have heard a cannon by now?" The girl from District 4 asks."I'd say yes. Nothing to prevent them from going in immediately.""Unless she isn't dead.""She's dead. I stuck her myself.""Then where's the cannon?""Someone should go back. Make sure the job's done.""Yeah, we don't want to have to track her down twice.""I said she's dead!""We're wasting time! I'll go finish her and let's move on!"That's Peeta, his face hard. He has a knife. It looks too dangerous in his hands. I suck in a sharp breath and Finnick jerks awake beside me."Go on, then, Lover Boy," the boy from District 2 says. "See for yourself."Peeta's bruised, it's easier to see that now. He has a bloody bandage on one arm and he's limping ever so slightly. I didn't notice before.One camera stays focused on the Careers while Peeta goes into the brush. I think Claudius Templeman is making some sort of commentary, but I ignore it. I watch as Peeta approaches the fire, looking down at the girl who is still, miraculously, heaving breath.He kneels beside her, and I'm so afraid, I'm so, so afraid he'll take out that knife and slit her throat.Instead, he grabs her hand, holding it over her chest. She will die, that is clear, but it's clearly not in Peeta to kill her. He waits a minute until her chest stops moving, stands, cleans the blood from his hands, and goes to rejoin his pack."Was she dead?" the boy from District 2 asks."No," Peeta says. "But she is now." The cannon fire confirms it. "Ready to move on?"They nod in agreement and jog off."The only reason they're keeping him around is to get to Katniss," Haymitch says to me as Katniss begins moving from her tree. "Once they realize he won't tell them anything, he's dead."I nod. But he didn't kill the girl. That's something, at least.

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