Clockworks of the Heart

Broken Clock

 “I failed again...” I thought to myself.

I stood in the streets of London from eight years ago as rain poured onto the street. How did this happen? Well, I finally succeeded in inventing a time machine five years ago. I thought of the idea when I was thirteen and started creating it when I turned sixteen by using the salary I get from my part-time job to buy the materials. It took me approximately seventeen years to finish it. However, by simply finishing my life's work, there is something more important to me that I need to do. An unfinished business that I can only accomplish by visiting the past.

In front of me is the same familiar nightmare I always see in my dreams. London experiencing a new set of downpour... Curious people gathered around near the pedestrian lane... Policemen everywhere trying to calm down the civilians... My past self from eight years ago holding onto the lifeless body of my beloved Elena... For me, my time stopped on this very day. Once again, I failed to change the outcome of that day.

I looked at the clock on one of the digital billboards on the street and it said 1:07:52pm. I raised my left hand to get a better look of the time on the watch I was wearing because its face is already cracked. It was a useless, old watch because it didn't work anymore. The only time that the watch says is 1:07:39pm; the exact time that the accident happened. I cursed to myself thinking that I was just a few seconds too late from changing the past. No matter how hard I tried, I always seem to end up being too late or being sucked in by the time machine too early.

The time machine is very unpredictable. There are times when I land in a street faraway from the scene eight years in the past and I hurry on my way to that accursed place. However, I always arrive there too late. There are also times when I land just a few steps from the lane, but, just when I thought that I can finally change the past, the machine suddenly sucks me in; returning me to my present. There was nothing more I could do, now that the nightmare has already began in this attempt. I don't know how many times I've seen this scene, but one thing is for certain: I've been searching for the right time to interfere in this event ever since I've finished the time machine.

I stand in the sea of crowds, making sure that nobody notices me, as I watch my past self mourning for his loss. A heart-wrenching scream echoed in the streets of London as some people who didn't have any idea of the accident wondered where that scream came from. I used to be in that same situation, so I had the urge of comforting my past self. But knowing what could happen if people I know were to see me, I couldn't take the risk. I can't take seeing Elena die again, but it is a small price to pay for me to get things right. Still, the emotions I feel never change even though I've seen this more than I could count, so I just stood in the sidelines begging for the time machine to bring me back to my present soon. As if it heard me, my surroundings distorted and my body felt like it was experiencing immense pressure on it. I blacked-out and the last thing I remember seeing was Elena's pale, tranquil face.

I woke up inside the capsule of the time machine in the present. My present. I sat up and put my hands on my face due to frustration of not being successful again. A whole bunch of things went through my mind; things that could somehow let me get to Elena and my past self first before they arrive at the pedestrian lane. I was so absorbed in my thoughts that I didn't notice my younger brother, Aaron, was calling for my attention until he tapped me on the shoulder.

“Dan, I know I don't need to ask you this, but are you okay? You look paler than usual,” he asked. He lends me a hand to help me out of the capsule. I accepted the help, but had a hard time keeping my balance. “Woah! Steady now. I don't want to pickup a unconscious man in this place.”

“Sorry,” I weakly apologized. “I just feel a little dizzy. I feel like I have jet-lag or something.”

“You mean, time-lag...” he corrected with a hint of amusement in his eyes. We laughed like good brothers should when a corny joke comes. Soon, the good vibes turned gloomy and the whole laboratory became cold all of the sudden even though the air conditioner isn't working that well. I looked down on my feet and started thinking of what I could have done at that very moment from eight years ago. The calmness of the room is starting to get to me, but, thankfully, Aaron breaks the silence by asking, “So, judging from how you are now, you weren't able to change it, right?”

“Yeah, but...” I started to feel depressed, but a little glint of hope is still alive inside me. “I just know that one of these days, I'll be able to save her,” I continued. I raise my left hand and started staring at the broken wrist watch that always says 1:07:39pm; the exact moment that Elena was hit by the car.

Aaron scrutinized my gesture and said, “You know, I think you shouldn't keep that watch anymore. I mean, you gave that old watch to Elena and she was wearing it when she died. I'm not saying that it's wrong to feel sentimental, but I don't think it's healthy to keep something that reminds you so much of that day. Sorry, but I'm just worried about you. You've been using the time machine more often than before and you haven't had much sleep these days.”

“Really?” I scratch the back of my head out of embarrassment. “Sorry, 'bout that, lil' bro. I promise, this will be the last time I'll use it today. Then, I'll go back to my apartment and sleep the rest of my day!”

Aaron raised his eyebrow of doom and I felt a chill through my spine. Man, that guy gives me the creeps whenever he does that. “Oh yeah,” I turned around to face Aaron. “I never threw this watch away no matter how much pain I feel whenever I see it, because it reminds me that there is still hope that I can change the past.”