I'll Be With You Until The End

Part 1

Clayton is upset.

The only reason Timmy can tell is because he’s been in the shower for over thirty minutes and the only time Clayton does that is when he needs a really good wank or something is making him feel low. Timmy sighs with worry, conflicted about whether he should go in and comfort him or just wait until Clayton is ready to talk. So Timmy keeps plaiting Ava’s hair while telling Ryan to go brush his teeth before bed. The sound of the shower turns off and Clayton comes down the stairs with wet hair, and wearing oversized clothes which made Timmy grin because he looked so cute and cuddly.

“Hey babe.” His voice is deep as he reaches a free hand up, grazing his finger across Clayton’ soft, shiny cheek. A faint smile (that looked a bit forced in Timmy’s opinions) grows across his light pink lips as he plops down next to him, leaning over and grinning at Ava. “Why don’t you go help Ryan in to bed, love?” With a wide smile and crinkly eyes, Ava nods, making her hair flop against her forehead as she stands up, running out of the room and tugging Ryan’s hand.

Timmy’s arm falls around Clayton’s shoulders, pulling him so close that Timmy can smell the mint from his lips when Clayton licks them slow, pink tongue poking out in a way that made Timmy stare for a moment. “You alright?” Clayton nods at Timmy’s question, biting his lip as he looks up at him through his long, dark eyelashes. “You sure, babe? Seem upset..” Timmy grazes his knuckle along Clayton’ sharp, defined jawline. The contact of TImmy’s warm fingers against his cool skin makes Clayton shiver, taking his bottom lip into his mouth as he bites down on it. His cheeks are tinted with red when he finally speaks up, voice a bit higher than usual from his lack of talking. “N-no. I’m fine.”

Timmy presses his lips together, eyes flickering over his husband’s face for any sign of sadness. Clayton blushed at the intimate stare, turning his face away from the sexy pierced tattoo boy as he looks at the television screen, head falling against Timmy's shoulder. His brown eyes were fixed on the tv while Timmy’s blue-green pair looked down at him fondly.

"I love you, Clay." Clayton smiles at his words at his words and nods, but despite that smile, Timmy finally is given the sign of sadness when Clayton’s smile doesn’t reach his eyes, the usual sparkling glint not there and the crinkles at the corners of his eyes remaining non existent. Clay just shrugs, eyes still on the show that he had completely zero interest in. Timmy’s large hand moves to grip Clayton's jaw, pulling his face in the direction of his. “Tell me what is wrong.” The older boy sighs and reaches for the remote, turning the tv off when he gets it. His brown eyes bore into Timmy’s when he turns back to him. “Do you want me anymore?”

Timmy's jaw goes slack in shock. “What? Of course I do.” Clayton scoffs and rolls his eyes, pulling his face away from the green eyes boys hold. “Then why won’t you touch me?” TImmy’s brow furrows in confusion, a wrinkle forming in between them. “I do touch you? I mean I know we don’t have sex as often as we used to be we aren’t 17 anymore, Clay.” “Oh, I know. I’m not the Clayton who has the nicest bum in all of America anymore; I’m the Clayton who steps over child fences now.” With a huff, Clayton sits back into the couch, flipping his fringe out of his eyes.

The terrible feeling of insecurity was hitting Clayton hard. He felt gross and not good enough and unwanted and he hated that he was putting this on Timmy and causing a fight because he knew that the only reason they didn’t make love like they used to was due to stress, work and parenting. But knowing that did nothing for Clayton because he used to have to /reject/ Timmy since he was always on him, sucking on Clayton’s sweet spot and sneaking a hand down the front of his pants. And yes of course Timmy was right, they weren’t seventeen anymore but Clayton wanted the passionate love making where they needed each other and not just an orgasm.