Love's Not Fair

One

Clark's POV
April showers. Drops of rain, just like any other. Except when it comes around this time in spring, it earns it's own name.

They bring the cold and frozen trees buds and melt away the winter. The showers bring colors to the blossoming flowers in the fields. The rain bring the birds back, their songs being sung every morning for all to hear.

"I think it's beautiful."  She had told me once, smiling at the droplets running down the window glass.

"It's just rain, and plus it makes the sky so gloomy." I had replied, never being able to see the beauty in it that she could.

That was something so simple that I loved about her; the way she could find beauty and good in anything. In everything.

"Tears are just like rain. When we cry, we're just as dark as the sky when it rains. That's what comes with it all, you have to have a little sadness for the tears to mean something. And the sky has to be grey for the rain to mean something." She explained to me, and all I could do was sit there and watch her talk with such passion.

She had that inside her, passion and meaning for all things.. big or small. From the tiniest fly to the largest hurricane- everything had a meaning. Everything had a reason.

"And when it's over, there are rainbows. Not all the time, but in those few times they appear. After crying and letting go of the things that caused the tears, your clarity appears... not every time but when it matters the most it'll be there." She had added, showing me even more or what went through her mind. The things that she was able to think and believe. How easily she was able to see the truth in the words she spoke.

Whenever she said things like that, sitting underneath a colorful quilt that was always with her; she had this twinkle in her eyes. The shimmer in her light blue eyes making them shine like crystal, or like the moon on a clear night. When it reflects off the ocean, creating a glimmer showcase.

Sometimes just before she'd fall asleep at night, or even mid-morning I'd look straight into those captivating eyes as she spoke in a whisper.

"You'll be here when I wake up right?" She'd ask, anytime she closed her eyes she wanted to make sure that it wouldn't be her last time, or her last time seeing me. Every time needing the reassurance, the soothing message to help her sleep in peace.

"I'll be here, right here holding your hand when you wake up."  Is what I told her, every time, every day.

As she would sleep I would watch her, as if she was some short film or a beautiful rare creature. And maybe she was, I hadn't met any girl-- any woman-- like her before. It was like anyone before her was just another player in the game called Love. And when I met her, I had rolled the winning.

There were times that I'd hold her in my arms as she slept at night, grasping her frail and delicate body-almost afraid that I could break her in half. Those were the nights when she was full of excruciating pain, and nausea so bad that it debilitated her. And those were the nights where I was filled with fear--more than usual-- and sadness that this could be our last night.

But each morning she'd wake up, still unable to move due to the discomfort and hurt, but with a glowing smile on her face. And each time I woke up to that, I would try to wrap my head around how she was able to do that. Wake up knowing that last night she could've-- but instead facing me with a smile as big as a child's on Christmas morning.

She had that capability as well, to never show weakness without a fight. She stayed happy, not because she was putting up a mask or shield but because that's what she had to do.

"Happiness is my medicine, not the toxins and drugs they pump into me day in and day out. It's the smiles I can wear, and the laughter I can spread that cure me. That help me heal."  She explained to me one day when I asked her how she was staying this 'peppy'.

It was like she was a true angel, pure and innocent. Exposed to evil but able to turn away. I'd never been able to witness something so extraordinary as her until... well... her.

She opened not only my eyes to the world I could be living, but my heart to the things that I could be letting in. She taught me things that I couldn't learn from someone else, not even my parents.

Whenever she gave me advice, or tried to help me out of a sticky situation; she had a way of turning them not into long explanations but instead meaningful life lessons. One's that I'd always remember.

"You can't let what they say effect you, no matter how hard it is to block out their words. The more and more their words soak into you, the more and more of yourself you lose." She told me once, when I was fighting with my friends. I just looked at her and smiled, at how a girl in her position could have words and help like that just flow out of her.

April Peters taught me more about life, about love, and about myself in four years then I could in a lifetime.

Sometimes I like to think that I taught her something too, but I can never come up with something that I could've shown her that she didn't already see. That she didn't' already know, that she didn't already feel in her heart.

That was the magic of April; she was the most humble, intelligent, kind person I'd ever grown to know. She knew what she wanted, and she knew what she didn't want. She knew who she wanted and who she didn't. She knew what was in her heart and what didn't belong there.

If you looked at her, some people would call her damaged or sick, or even broken. But when I looked at her, all I could see was her pure heart. Her never ending beauty and the goodness inside her that people could only dream of having.

April Peters was perfect, all in her own way.