Love's Not Fair

Three

Clark's POV

Tears were rare for April. You'd think they were a daily appearance; but for her they barely showed every month. But when those rare days came, and the rain from her own eyes fell it was a somber day all around. It was hard for her light to shine through the dark clouds within her, just like how the sun has a hard time on a gloomy grey day.

The things she cried about weren't things associated with her cancer-- that was even more seldom then the tears themselves-- she cried about things that hurt her heart. Her soul, her being. If there was a movie where a single animal died, while thousands of humans were killed as well.. she cried for that animal. When a new baby bird learning to fly would bop into the window in the spring time, she cried for his well being.

She cried for me. That was something that touched me the most, when I was down-really down- she was too. But the time when she cried that always made me cry as well, was when I played for her. Sang for her, and wrote for her.

I met April at one of my friend's wedding, where I knew the groom and she knew the bride. I can still see her walking down that aisle before the bride, her long coral dress hugging all the curves of her body. Her smile radiant in the room, and my eyes stuck on her. I played at the reception, and as the words I sang came out and were heard by everyone... I couldn't help but feel like I was singing to her. Just April.

"You're really good, you know." April told me, as I was getting ready to leave that day.

"Thank you." I said, my voice was shy due to the girl I'd wanted to talk to standing right in front of me.

"You write that?" She asked, as she walked closer to me. Her braided hair had shimmered with the small flecks of gold glitter in it.

"I did, yeah." I confirmed, and saw a small smile grow on her face.

"It's beautiful."

You're Beautiful.. Is what I wanted to say--but decided just to think it instead.

"Would you want to grab dinner sometime?" April boldly asked me, and that caught me off guard.

That's when I was the one who grew the smile, "Yes, I'd like that."

We were close, for the months and year we were together before the diagnosis; and after that Thursday she got the news... we were inseparable. I was nervous for a while that I'd end up one of those people who wouldn't be able to handle it all, handle seeing my love go through all the shit that she went through. But I made it through, holding her hand and laughing along side her.

She needed someone more then ever in those moments, and I was that person. I was the one she could turn to cry, to talk, to laugh, and just to be held by.

On our fourth year anniversary, she was feeling really bad. Vomiting all morning, and barely able to sit up. But I made that night special by taking her out in a wheel chair to the outside front of the hospital and we sat together on a bench watching the sun go down. Not talking, not even laughing. Just sitting in each other's embrace, our hands in one another's and my body warming her chilled body.

We were able to do plenty of small romantic things, even though she was confined to a hospital bed and room pretty much all day. Cuddles, movie dates, and small gifts were some of the few. There were days when I'd play her my new songs, or sing my old ones. She'd share the small poems she loved to write down, reading them out loud to me as I held her close.

She loved writing down thoughts and twisting them into powerful poems, it was amazing how easy it was for her. The way the words could just flow from her hand onto the paper, and the way they came out of her mouth with such passion... it was just another gift of April's.

"Like a moth to a flame, his love for her burned with a pain she could never know. For it was the single call of her name, that could change his day to a high from a low."

"Hummingbirds hum for they are content, people cry because they wish for change. Every flap of their wings are meant, as each tear comes from the right emotional range."

"Pastors preach for they have something to say; to share. Although not their own, but from God above. The people listen to his words, because God lends them something to hear."

She wrote so many short saying and poems like those, some from a place she knew and some from a place of fantasy and fiction.

April believed in the impossible as well; the things and phenomenon's that are hard to truly think aren't false she thought of as true. She believed in magic, in people out there in space besides us. She believed in witches and fairies, but the most stunning thing... was that she believed in love.

That was the one I always admired, she had no doubt about love. And how possible it is to find it, she even said she found it in me. I found my love in her too, so I suppose I believe in it too. Another thing about her rubbing off on me.

I know for a fact that love is real, even when people around us say that it's a bunch of BS, and that there's not such thing as a 'soul mate'. I am living proof.

I found my soul mate, I found the person that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I found love. I found April.