hidden stars || kth. (discontinued)

chapter one

The whole world felt quiet. The sun had gone to rest and the moon took its place, illuminating the sky as darkness embraces the city.

Just like any other night, I'd be standing on my balcony, looking at the cityscape that's spread before my apartment. Cool breeze caressed my cheeks as I took in a deep breath before letting it out, and it felt like there was nothing left in me.

The night was especially quiet and it wasn't helping the emptiness within me. The sorrow I felt was overwhelming to the point that my heart felt painfully numb.

I looked up at the night sky above, and all I saw was a star as lonely as I was. It twinkled, but the longer I gazed upon it, its gleam seemed to fade.

Enough. I didn't want to dwell on about the past and I figured out that it's better to sleep away the pain, so I made my way back into the apartment and into my room.

Just when I was about to get on the bed, I took a glance at the calendar sitting on top of my desk.

31 July. Happy anniversary, love.

***

"Shit, shit, shit!" I repeatedly cursed under my breath whilst struggling to walk hastily on 4-inch heels.

It's just unfortunate to be late for a job interview of all things. I glanced down at my watch, 3 minutes. 3 minutes left or I'm not getting my one and only opportunity.

But you see, I was never lucky.

I didn't even have time to look up from my watch when someone knocked into me and I felt a hot liquid spilling onto my chest. Great way to start my morning, isn't it?

The moment I looked down at my white blouse, I swear my eyes almost dropped out of its place — my blouse had a huge patch of coffee stain. "Son of a bi—"

"What the hell, watch where you're going!" 

My eyes darted up to look at the man who just blatantly told me to watch where I was going instead of apologising after spilling a cup of coffee onto my blouse. "Excuse me?"

"Yeah, you should've said that seconds ago," He spat before dropping his cup of coffee onto the ground as he walked past me.

I gasped at his blatant rudeness, wondering how someone can be this ridiculously ill-mannered. I took a deep breath before turning to walk after him. "You're not just gonna walk away without paying for my blouse," I taunted.

He discontinued his steps to look at me, "So, are you getting me a new cup of coffee?"

"Why should I? You were staring down at your phone while walking, it's certainly your fault, and because of you, I can't even go for my job interview now that my blouse is ruined!" I snapped at him.

Feeling provoked, his eyebrows knitted together as he stared down at me intently. "You're blaming me because you're not getting a job interview? Is it my fault that you're not getting it? Did I intend to spill a damn cup of coffee on you? No. So shut up, and stop accusing me for no apparent reason."

I stared back up into his eyes, not intimidated by him, not even a little. I took a deep breath, gritting my teeth as I tried to remain calm although I was real close to swinging my fist to his face. "I just need you to pay for my blouse. Okay? That's it," I insisted.

He let out an unhumorous laugh before simply ignoring me, and that was the breaking point of my patience. Blinded by the overwhelming anger that was arousing within me, I sent a punch straight to his face.

***

What a dumb day to start off the month with! I woke up late, my blouse got ruined, a rude man yelled at me in the street and worst of all, I didn't get to attend the job interview. It sucked, because I had been jobless for quite awhile and if I didn't get a job anytime soon, I'd be in deep trouble of debts and unpaid bills.

Just when I thought I could start off a new chapter after yesterday's over, my hopes came crashing down.

It was still early in the morning and I rushed home to get myself changed out of the coffee-stained blouse while still mentally cursing that bad-mannered man I met in the street. I was satisfied to have had given him a good punch in the face that he deserved.

Since the day wasn't going as it was planned, I decided to do my laundry. This was a disadvantage of living alone — you do everything by yourself.

I picked up my laundry basket and put every piece of clothing that was sprawled across my bedroom floor into it when suddenly, I heard knocking on the door.

Not knowing who was visiting me at such an hour, I put my laundry basket aside and dragged my feet as I walked to the door before looking through the peep hole. My breath caught in my throat the moment I recognised who it was.

Why'd he be here?

Why after leaving me in despair, did he have to return again? Why did he finally decide to show himself after avoiding me for a good whole month? My heart started pounding wildly in my chest. I wanted to flung open the door and pull him into my embrace instantly, telling him how much I've missed him, but my alter ego tells me not to— maybe if I'd just ignore, he'll go away.

But he didn't. Instead, he kept knocking and I couldn't help but relent. I slowly opened the door with a heavy heart and the moment I lay my eyes upon him, I had to mentally remind myself not to break into tears.

"Hajoon," I managed to call him calmly, my eyes studying the box he was carrying in his two hands.

"Eunhee," he responded and flashed me the fakest smile I've seen of him.

I returned his smile bitterly, it was killing me so bad that we went from lovers that vowed not to leave each other's side, to strangers whom pretend like they had never met. My heart hurt, more than anyone could ever imagine.

"I'm here to return your things..." He said and I felt my insides tear. Though he tried not to sound uncomfortable, the awkward atmosphere between us was evident.

Why of all days, he decided to return my stuff on a bad day, a day after our anniversary?

"You can throw mine if you do have any, I don't really need them," he said and I wasn't sure why, but that just sent a knife straight through my heart. It was as if nothing mattered to him anymore and that he had forgotten everything that happened between us.

"Ah, alright," I quickly took the box from him, then realised he was just standing outside the apartment. "You wanna come in for a bit?" I asked eventhough I knew what his response was going to be.

He shook his head, "I've got somewhere else to go. Take care, goodbye."

What's the good in your farewell? I pursed my lips and simply waved to him, watching him turn his back on me as he walked further and further away from my door, just like the night when he left me.

The moment he was out of sight, my tears fell without me knowing, and my heart shattered like it wasn't already broken in the first place.

Hours after he left, I busied myself with chores but I still couldn't get him off my mind. Even after I took a nap, I woke up out of a dream of him.

The day got worse as time pasts. All I felt was anger and frustration, and more anger. I couldn't get over the heartbreak. It all felt so cunningly cold, like concrete drying in my chest. I was so sick of it. I really wished I could just forget him easily like he does.

'Enough is enough,' I thought.

***

That night, I went out alone and decided to have a drink.

I poured myself a shot before gulping the bitter liquid down at one go. I finished a bottle, then another, and by the third bottle, I was completely drunk. My legs and hands didn't do as I tell them, nor my hands and fingers. I only kept gulping down the alcohol, a shot after another.

"Stop drinking already," A voice said, making me slam my shot glass on the table, feeling irritated.

I wasn't sure if the alcohol had overwhelmed me completely or so, but I was more than annoyed at that voice eventhough I didn't know whom it belonged to. I was unsure about what I said afterwards, all I knew was that I was so very drunk. All I did was mutter a few things which I couldn't vividly remember about, before passing out.