Fluffy Phan Oneshots

Vape God

Dan

Tour life isn't pretty, especially when you have to sit down with a water inhaler blowing vapor into your mouth to avoid losing your voice.

"Hey Phil, look what I can do," I exclaimed, trying to stifle a giggle. He turned around swiftly, an eyebrow raised in curiosity as he watched me inhale the vapor before blowing it out.

"We get it, you vape," he replied before taking his own water inhaler and breathing in the vapor, but this time blowing out rings instead of just a puff of air.

"What the fuck when did you learn how to do that?" 

"I got bored when you went to the bathroom and googled it"

"You spork, I thought you learned in in college or something."

"Nah, I wasn't a party guy in school. And I know you sure as hell weren't."

Feigning offense, I clutched my chest and fell against the couch. "Philip Michael Lester, did you just insult me?"

"It's not an insult if it's the truth Danny boy." He flopped down on the couch next to me, trying to act sweet.

"Come on, I've gone to parties before. I've even tried smoking. I'm a bad boy."

"Okay buddy, sure you are. First, I was there when you tried that cigarette. You tried half of a puff before you started choking, crying, and begged me to rush you to the hospital. Second, you are the softest piece of shit I have ever met. You may look tough on the outside, but you are the most kind hearted and lovable guy out there."

Unable to handle Phil being cute, I blew a puff a steam into his face before standing up to place the inhaler on the counter. Before I could walk away, I felt him grab my arm and pull me back to the couch. I landed in his lap, but refused to look at him, instead placing my face on his chest.

"Stop being so cute, I hate you," I mumbled into his shirt.

"You love me."

"Not at all. You are the worst person on the planet and I never want to see you again."

"It's a good thing people close their eyes when they kiss," he whispered in my ear, leaning closer.

"You asshole." The motherfucker always knew how to break me. Pulling away from his shirt, I craned my neck to look up at him, fully prepared to kiss him, when this motherfucker decided to blow a puff of vapor into my face. The shock of it all sent me flying off his lap and onto the floor. All I could hear was his bright, bubbly laugh, and when I looked up, he was wiping a tear out of his eye. 

Rubbing the sore spot on my ass, I begrudgingly started standing up, muttering profanities under my breath while the asshole on the couch was still laughing.

"Come on, that was pretty funny," he said between giggles.

"You're awful," I pouted, turning away from him. I heard the couch shifting underneath him as he stood up. Soon enough, his arms snaked around my waist, pulling me closer to his chest. Bingo. I could always count on cuddles if I pretended to pout. Turning around, I cuddled him closer, inhaling his scent. 

We stood there for a while, standing in the middle of the room hugging, and eventually making out, until the stage director walked in an told us it was showtime.

"You ready?" he whispered.

"Let's kill it out there."

We walked hand in hand out of the green room and got into position, ready to walk out on stage and have an amazing night. Giving Phil one last kiss before showtime, I gave him a word of advice: "Don't fall off the stage again this time."

He rolled his eyes before pushing me away. "You too."