It's Life

I Wonder

I believe birth is not the start of all life it's just a phase.

The start of life is when you wake up in the morning thinking "why did I"

She didn't know it would ever come to that.

When that innocent infant is thrust into an world of hate,sorrow,but mostly...pain.

Another heart to break.

Where all you did was gain another life to chain down and cage.

Sat her down and promised her lies.

She cries for help you do nothing.

Cutting another piece of her heart.

And another poor innocent soul to demolish.

I wonder if she knew it would be this way,stuck in a world that just looks and don't do none.

I wonder if she ever worried about who will see her scars,the dirt of her pass.

Another pit to dig to store all my suffering.

She always wonder if at such an innocent stage in this curse we call life, if she even thought it would ever be filled with such depondency. That she could ever feel as though her heart is suffocating.

That once she finds just a fleeker of hope it would be ripped away

By the ones she'd hoped would be on her side.

Can she even cope?

I wornder how it felt on that fist step, then the next and the next to finally be able to run into the arms of your mother.

Only for those same arms to be the ones that break you.

You can't take it anymore.

You don't want to.

They say you choose who hurts you but let just be honest you didn't fucken have that privilege

The mediocrity in that phrase is pathetic,you get hurt in this world even when you chose not to.

Do you even see that my heart has pneumonia.

Do you even care?

This is when my heart will harden.

Please,tell me what i do with it when my cycle discontinues and my tears run out.

You try to cut out all the people i call my family.

Saying that you love me.

That friends will alway betray you and that you've been there.

But I'm not you!

I am me and thats all i can be,i don't want to be that girl that you play me out to be.

It's not about the amount of money you give me nor is it about these trivial things.

It's about your words.

The words you just vomit out of your mouth like a drunked.

Spit them on my heart like toxic acids.

She's slowly losing her sanity.

The raser doesn't cut it no more.

Insanity is not to be condemned but embraced.

I secretly long for your embrace.

Oxygen.

Air,that is what i need...your in my face.

MOVE! your steping on my heart.

It feels like a hot iron is being shoved down her throat and twisted. Its twised.

How you can call me selfish but your the architect of it all.

I've packed bags full of anger,my eyes are so bloodshot I can't  see straight.

She wonders how it feels to see straight.

Your the founder of this story.

The anchor that drags her down into a dark place in her mind, drownding in a bottle of misery,when she finally gets single breath of air you pull the triger once again plunging her back to that torture.

Wondering how it once felt to be free to breathe.

i've forgoten how it felt to be happy.

Truely happy.

...she wonders how it feels to be happy.

*I've quoted a few songs, so those who know them no worries I fully respect the copy rights of those people a declare that they are no originally mine.*

Thank you