JT's Reign (Jay Taylor - Pause)

//2

c h a p t e r  2

              "I don't know how to surf," I let Kyle know, sheepish, as I stare out at the ocean apprehensively, a surfboard under my arm.

  Kyle stares at me blankly in turn, this being his stupid idea of killing some free time.

               "I didn't get out much before," I shrug, both of us standing on the shore.

  "No, dude, it's not that, it's just that I'm surprised that there's actually something you can't do," he reassures me. "I'm just so used to you being a natural overachiever all the time that you caught me off guard for a sec'," he jokes around, messing with me.

            I shrug carelessly yet again, "Learning new skills is what I thrive on. I like to apply myself. Challenges and problem solving are my escape. It gets my mind off things that I'd rather forget than relive."

  "I bet it's no walk in the park, huh?" he asks, hinting at something with his underlining tone of curiosity.

           I express my confusion with a frown, "What are you on about?"

  "Being the best all the time, being stuck in a lifeless past, trying to fix everything, blaming yourself for everything," he answers nonchalantly as if it is obvious to him, "it's all gotta take a toll on you. It's got to be a heavy weight to carry," he presses, managing to easily annoy me.

           "You don't know me," I retaliate, already aware of where he's going with this.

  "You're transparent enough for me to figure you out," he replies, refusing to back off. "You've had a tough life. You're torn. You're stuck in a past leading to nowhere. As a result, you're struggling to lay down a future for yourself. You've made too many mistakes to count. Your regrets are even more, but," he pauses, waving his finger in my face in a condescending way, "your acts of humility and selflessness are infinite, limitless."

           I involuntarily clench my fists in anger and step back from him, "That's enough."

  I lost it all because of selfishness, not selflessness. He's way off point and it bothers me that he would think otherwise.

         "You've worked hard to be where you are today. Nothing has come easy to you," he states casually, in spite of my rising temper.

Dreams are earned. If you want it bad enough, you'll find a way to make it happen, no matter what.  

  "In my world, things don't get handed down to me on some silver platter. I have to take the initiative to just give it my all and go for it," I take the platform to elaborate before he gets ahead of himself. "My motto in life is to do everything that I do to the best of my ability. I'm always gonna give it my absolute best, and sometimes, even that is not enough."

        "Finally," Kyle grins in victory as if satisfied, "something you're optimistic about. Although, your tenacity is a little intimidating."

  I hate how he misreads everything I say.

         "I'm not that pessimistic," I defend myself at only hearing that, indifferent to the rest of his words.

  "You're the most negative person I've ever met," Kyle chuckles in disagreement, "but you're also one of the most 'real' people I've ever met. You're genuine. You're you."

         "You say it like it's a good thing," I grin slightly, loosening up.

  "That's your problem, right there," he suddenly points out. He takes the liberty to explain when seeing that I'm not following, "You have such a bad view of yourself. You need to stop knocking yourself down to the ground because there will come a day when you won't be able to stand up again, as you took away all the reasons to."